Mercury (Bard)

Mercury (XIII)
The Drunken Bard
Created	September 25, 2016
Status	Active
Race	Half-Elf
Classes	Bard

Current Description:

Mercury is the standard over-drinking half-elf in recovery.
With what appears to be cardboard wings taped to his shoes
and Halloween fairy wings glitter-glued to a pair of earmuffs,
it appears that Mercury has taken the entire "messenger
of the gods" thing way to seriously.

When Mercury notices you looking at him, he tries to pull his
much-too-small shirt down over his giant beer belly. However,
with him refusing to put down his beer to do so, he spills
on himself, making you realize that it isn't a brown tie-die
shirt at all. It may have actually been white at some point.

Mercury is in a perpetually semi-drunken state.

WHO Lists:

09/28/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  11   8   4 ] Mercury, the bard of Bacchus *SEEKING BARDS COUNCIL*
10/09/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  19  10   9 ] Mercury, the inbebria...inebrate...ina...drunk
10/12/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  21  11   9 ] Mercury is ready for a Bards Council, if convenient.
10/16/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  22  13  13 ] Mercury, founder of Alcoholics Unanimous.  *hic*
10/24/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  24  15  14 ] Mercury, founder of Alcoholics Unanimous.  *hic*
10/30/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  25  16  14 ] Mercury, founder of Alcoholics Unanimous.  *hic*
11/28/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  30  22  17 ] Mercury, founder of Alcoholics Unanimous *hic*
12/09/2016 : Hel [ Bard:  30  25  17 ] Mercury, founder of Alcoholics Unanimous *hic*

01/23/2017 : Hel [ Bard:  30  29  21 ] Mercury, UAU *Alcoholics Unanimous* *hic*
02/20/2017 : Hel [ Bard:  30  30  21 ] Mercury, eternally drunk.
08/08/2017 : Hel [ Bard:  30  30  24 ] Mercury, maudlin about DarkClaw.

Trivia:

• Mercury is the first individual to receive the 1st Explorer Pin for completely traversing all of Quelesta's Maze.

Restrings

Mercury has several restrings:

(Moderate magic) (Glowing) pure dumb luck [gm|ac:-2 svs:-4 1#|none]

exam luck:

A golden haze swirls drunkenly here, emitting a pleasant and intoxicating aura.

look luck:

A shining aura seems alive, occasionally instilling the awe usually reserved for
few immortals.  This living embodiment of luck appears to have gotten drunk and
attached itself to this petty mortal.  Embracing this decision with the
stubbornness usually reserved for the thoroughly inebriated, this aura of luck
has taken up residence on this blessed (or cursed) half-elf, insisting that it
was a good decision and that it is completely sober.  It totally meant to do it.

look fumes:

The swirling aura appears to be either extremely intoxicated by the fumes
wafting off the mortal in front of you, or quite simple-minded.  It's continuing
insistence that it is completely sober leads you to the conlusion that this
mortal has had way too much to drink or is a remarkably bad influence.

look pure:

The presence of this aura is almost as intoxicating as drinking pure alcohol,
yet seemingly more addictive.

(Artifact magic) a broken pair of beer goggles [m|AC 0 ts:32 0#|neck]

look goggles:

The broken bottoms of two beer mugs have been formed into a pair of goggles.

(Moderate magic) armguards made from the slats of a beer cask [m|AC 6 luc:3 wis:3 2#|arms]

look armguards:

If one were to travel to Dwarvenhold, and seek out Churg, the brewer of reknown,
he would utterly deny the existence of the mythical artisanal honey-beer. But...
Sylette, in her cups, has been known to brag of it. Only gifted to royalty, kept
in small casks a St. Bernard could easily tote around, this beverage is, without
a doubt, one of the most special and unique and rare brews to be found. Usually,
the prized casks must be returned to Churg, but it seems that some enterprising,
bold, and doubtless inebriated thief has purloined one, and fashioned them into
a pair of armguards.

exam armguards:

Curved pieces of wood, well and fully soaked with beer, protect the wearer's arms.

(Weak magic) (Glowing) a real doozy of a hangover [gm|svs:-2 da:3 dex:2 1#|decoration]

exam hangover:

An alcoholic haze fills the air, tainted with the scent of vomit.

look hangover:

THIS... this is not your garden-variety hangover. This is far
beyond the amateur efforts of teenage boys feeling their oats.
It exceeds the practiced oblivion of old men who have nothing
to live for. This is a gleeful, deliberate, worshipful affair
with the demon alcohol. A passionate debacle.  A choreography
of inebriation. A love-poem to Bacchanalian excess. A howling
Katzenjammer of EPIC proportion.

(Potent magic) a bedraggled, beer-stained, and road-worn robe [m|AC 3 svs:-3 da:3 mr:2 1#|about-body]

look robe:

Road dust and beer stains co-mingle on the soiled surfaces of this robe.

Player Provided Information:

Mercury's 7 hit round

<982hp(1032) 635ma(680) 679mv 1906944gp sp: [commn] > e
A Wide Corridor of Blue Marble
[Exits: north east south west]

(Light Blue Aura) Silently facing south, this Azure Guard private is alert at his post.
(Light Blue Aura) Silently facing north, this Azure Guard stands alert at his post.

<982hp(1032) 635ma(680) 677mv 1906944gp sp: [commn] > k guard

Your backhand MUTILATES an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your knee strike DISEMBOWELS an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your inner crescent kick DISEMBOWELS an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your knifehand strike MUTILATES an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your roundhouse punch EVISCERATES an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your knee strike DISEMBOWELS an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.
Your spearhand strike MUTILATES an alert south-facing Azure Guard private.

Personal Timeline:

09/28/2016: Conducts his "first, and expectedly terrible performance at the amph..*hic* Ampithea... performance place".
10/12/2016: Performs "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" for his 10th Bard Council Review.
10/31/2016: Performs "Proof of God's Love: The origin of the Dwarf and Elf conflict"
September 2017: Smashed the competition in the "Wow, Cordir is Old" Quest, taking first place.
04/08/18: