Crunch

WHO Lists:

06-26-2012 : Ogr [    Wa: 7 Sh:12    ] Crunch, Charred Culinary Ebrithil Captain of Lost

Personal Timeline:

June 21, 2012 : Crunch is created.
June 21, 2012 : Crunch gives worship to DarkClaw, joining The Lost Ones.

Mud Contributions/Notes:

[ 10] Crunch: *Psaghetty n Inkballz*

Sat Jun 23 07:50:38 2012
To: all
Ingredienz:
extra virgin elf oil; onion; garlic; lots of tomatoes from halfling
farm; basil; parmesan cheez; salt (lotz); bottle red wine (from
that drunk dude at Abbey); 1 lb ground Ink; psaghetty
Directionz:
Prepare the sauce: Squeeze 1 virgin elf tightly. Put oil in pot on
medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic. Stir. Stepz on the tomatoes
then add. Reduce heat, stirz alot.
Prepare the Inkballz: Find an Ink fishy. Squish it. Add salt, basil,
and some cheez. Rollz into ballz or use melon scooper thingy.
Heat frying pan on high heat. Brown the Inkballz, this ain't sushi!
Add red wine, cheez, salt and Inkballz to sauce. Gently stir.
While sauce is simmering, cookz the psaghetty.
To serve, dump psaghetty on a plate or in a bowl. Dump sauce
over it. Sprinkle some cheez. Add more salt.

Serves 1 ogre or 2 dwarf or 3 gnomz.

From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

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[ 11] Crunch: *Mumz Southern Og Fried Fzoul*

Sat Jun 23 08:28:58 2012
To: all

Ingredienz:
3 eggs; 1/3 cup water; cup hot! red pepperz; 2 cup flour; 1 tsp. pepper
salt; 2 lb. Fzoul, cut into piecez; elf oil

Directionz:
In a medium size bowl, beat the eggs. Beat them! Pour water. Stepz on
pepperz and add. In another bowl, combine the flour and pepper.
Find Fzoul. Pluck limbz off a Fzoul. Dip the Fzoul partz in the egg, and
then coat well in the flour mix. Squeez 5 elfz. Heat oil in a deep pot.
Fry the Fzoul in the oil until brown and crispy. Dark meat takes longer
than white meat...we can't tell til we catch the Fzoul, but about 10-14 min.

Serves 1 ogre or 3 dwarf or 4 gnomz.

From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

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[ 12] Crunch: *Drakar Sprinklz Donutz*

Sun Jun 24 11:36:28 2012
To: all

Ingredienz:
elf oil; flour; sugar; 1 tbs. baking KAPOWder; 1/2 tsp. baking soda
cinnamon; nutmeg and allspice; salt; 2 eggs; 1 egg yolk; buttermilk
(ew I know but it workz); pumpkin; butter; half-elf extract

Directionz:
Stealz thoz fancy ingredienz from Ruby. Stealz eggz from Hovelton.
Stealz 6 elfz and 1 half-elf. Findz a pumpkin and stepz on it. Findz a
Drakar and tiez him up (ignore his attemptz to woo you). Squeez 6
elfz and 1 half-elf tightly! Preheat elf oil in a large Troll oven. Whisk
dry ingredienz in a bowl. Whisk eggz, yolk, buttermilk, pumpkin, butter
(just breathe on it, will melt) and half-elf extract in another bowl. Add
them all and mix a lot, sir! The dough will be very sticky, don't try to
groom self yet. Dump some flour on a board. Pat out dough. Use finger-
nail (doesn't have to be clean) to cut out 3-inch round donutz. Punch hole
in center of each. Fry donutz until brown and crizpy. Putz on a rack to cool.
Now the tricky part: Pluckz fingerz or toez of the Drakar (ignore his attemptz
to woo you). Chop into small piecez. Sprinklz the piecez on the donutz.

Serves 1 ogre or 6 dwarvz or 7 gnomz.

From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

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[ 13] Crunch: *Baby Back Belsambar Ribz*

Sun Jun 24 19:05:42 2012
To: all

Ingredienz:
bottle of whiskey (find a dwarf); elf oil; onion; garlic; lemon; ketchup
coffee; brown sugar; bottle red wine (drunk dude at Abbey); salt
pepper; woostershirz sauce; molasses; 2 rackz of Belsambar ribz

Directionz:
Stealz ingredienz. Knock out a dwarf, take whiskey. Findz a Belsambar
tie him to a rafter, but don't chopz yet, keep him fresh. Squeez 2 elvz. In
a large saucepan, heat the elf oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, stir
til onion as soft as a half-elf belly button. Add garlic, pepper, lemon,
ketchup, coffee, sugar, wine, woostershirz, and molasses, and bring to a
simmer. Remove from heat, let cool. Swish in mouth til it's pureed, spit back
into large dish. Fun part now: ripz out ribz of the Belsambar. All of them!
Put ribz in dish with sauce. Let sit awhile. Putz ribz on grill, keep basting
them Belsambar ribz til done.

Servez 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz.

From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

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[ 14] Crunch: *Chocolate Celeste-Filled Cupcakz*

Tue Jun 26 09:52:05 2012
To: all

Ingredienz:
flour; sugar; cocoa powder; baking soda; salt; egg; butter; buttermilk
vanilla extract; water; milk; cream cheez; chopz toez of a Celeste

Directionz:
Stealz ingredienz from Ruby. Oh, just knock Ruby out, you need her oven,
too. Preheat Ruby's oven to 350 degrez. Lightly butter her muffin tin.
(Sickoz, mind out of gutter). In a large bowl, add flour, sugar, cocoa
dash of baking soda, lotz of salt. Mix it! Add 1 egg, vanilla, 1 cup water.
Beat with fist - the batter, not Ruby. Pour into tin. Bake til they are
puffy and your fingernail goes in the cake and comez out clean, about 20
mins. While cooling, go findz the Celeste. Pluckz all her toez, she doesn't
need them. Chopz them up. Then chewz on them, spit into pot. Combine
with milk. Bring to a simmer. Add cream cheez and vanilla. Then let cool.
Whew this is wurk. Stick finger in center of each cupcake. Putz some
Celeste filling in each cupcake. Putz a cherry on top of each to cover the holz.

Oh heck, forgot the buttermilk Ruby wouldn't let go of. Dump out.

Servz 1 ogre or 4 dwarz or 5 gnomz.

From Crunch's Culinary Creationz