The Great Banking Scandal of 2012

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2012 - The Great Banking Scandal

It was late February. Lexie had been 'arguing' with Mish... and Tynian decided to move the broker into protective custody. A flurry of notes followed...

The Notes:

[ 2] Lexie: Wish for President

Mon Feb 27 11:52:34 2012
To: all
Wish is the Supreme Sepiod of all sepiods.
Wish has me so bedazzled and yea...
Wish has my vote for Prezzydent.
Vote 4 Wish!
or DIE!

[ 3] Wish: Wish for President

Tue Feb 28 10:33:14 2012
To: all
In the interests of self-interest, I vote for me.

[ 4] Morgaine: Mish for president.

Tue Feb 28 11:58:30 2012
To: all
Mish is the only candidate with enough funds to run a substantial compaign against Wish.
Don't Wish, vote Mish.

Morgaine Belle'rose, Guard of the Legion.

[ 5] Thunder: Mish for President

Tue Feb 28 16:47:57 2012
To: all
Long live the Queen!

Vote for Mish

[ 6] Nazareth: Wish4Prez.

Tue Feb 28 21:33:22 2012
To: all
Wish gets my vote. He is SOOOO squishy. I mean, come on, dudes? Who
could vote for anyone else?

Especially NOT that THIEF Mish. Mish sucks, Wish4Lyfe.

That is all.

<3 Naz

[ 7] Lexie: Morgaine...I know you hate me. I hate you more.

Tue Feb 28 23:51:44 2012
To: all
Wish for President!
Mish can DIE!!!

  • hearts* Love you all. Really. No.

[ 8] Tynian: Mish

Wed Feb 29 06:52:20 2012
To: all
Given the threat to Mish, I have moved her into protective custody.

Better safe than sorry.

[ 9] Wish: New Banking Services

Wed Feb 29 08:12:20 2012
To: all
Given recent developments and the inaccessibility of Mish,
I have decided to provide much needed banking services to the Guild.
I will happily hold your gold for a small fee of 10%, which beats
all other banker rates by 4%, and beats Mish rates by 9%.
That is an unbeatable deal. While I understand that I may not be
as convenient a banker as Mish was, you have my word that your gold will
be safe with me, and that I will return your deposits (minus 10%) upon
your request. If you have any doubts, please give me a test deposit
so that I may prove my honesty in all our financial dealings.

Yours Truly,
Wish, Foul Sepiod of the Nashite Magi

[ 10] Wish: Your Squishy Plushy

Wed Feb 29 09:57:35 2012
To: Xerit
I have one for you...really. Come see me, please.
Wish, Foul Sepiod of the Nashite Magi

[ 11] Lexie: Wish First National Bank of TFC - New Customers=

Wed Feb 29 10:34:01 2012
To: all
See me for your Wish squid plushy. It's cute, cuddly, soft and
free to all new customers! Enjoy!

[ 12] Thunder: Long Live the Queen

Wed Feb 29 19:31:28 2012
To: all
To my Lady Mish,

Where have you gone?
Oh the days i have sat in your presence basking in your glory.
Unknowing one day you would vanish from my presence.
Where have you gone my lady, are your servents no longer
worthy of you light? If this be the case i now have a longing
within myself, a hole that will not be filled until your
return. From this point foward i will spend my time in famine,
for without you Mish my hunger will never be fulfilled.
I will await you as long as it may take for your return to
your temple of Lower Hall, never partaking of food.
I will live this life of hunger as long as it may take to prove
my loyalty to you.

Your ever faithful servant,
Thunder Fist

Long Live the Queen!!

[ 13] Thunder: Lexie must die!

Thu Mar 1 09:47:47 2012
To: all
upon reflection of the loss of my queen i foresee only one outcome of this
situation the threat of the queen must be removed. hence Lexie must die
so mish may return.
so to all of the relm whom wish for mish to return hunt lexie at all cost
and end the threat to Mish's safety. this public service will greatly
appreciated, and hopefully rewarded with the return of mish to lower hall.
Long Live the Queen!

[ 14] Mish: My business

Thu Mar 1 11:11:39 2012
To: all
Thanks to Lexie's threats against me, Tynian has placed me in protective
custody. He doesn't understand that I have a business to run. So, I
will continue to auction and locate, in the hopes that my customers
will find me. A girl's gotta make a living, after all.

[ 15] Wish: My business

Thu Mar 1 13:09:57 2012
To: all
Why go with Mish, when you can go with Wish? Make a wise
financial decision and place your hard earned gold in my safe
tentacles. For a small 10% deposit fee, I will be your
financial partner in life! I am also offering loans with
a low, low interest rate. Please inquire!

Wish, Foul Sepiod of the Nashite Magi

[ 16] Mish: MY business

Thu Mar 1 14:15:54 2012
To: all
Isn't it strange that Wish's buddy Lexie threatens me, and then Wish
just SUDDENLY starts this business? It's clear that they have cooked up
some scheme, had it planned and all ready to go. It explains Wish's
motives for collecting all that gold. Why, everyone knows that gold is
worthless after you get those two simple rings! So the question is, what
are their real motives?

Through my agreement with Merrick, I offer convenient service, with just
a small mark up over my own expenses. The gold you deposit with me is
kept secure by Merrick. Your funds are safe. All you have is Wish's
word that he'll not get robbed and killed, compared to my years of
faithful and convenient service.

Thank you for seeing through this crazy Lexie-Wish scheme. I look
forward to when I can come out of hiding and back among you! This is
hurting my livlihood, and a girl's gotta eat.

[ 17] Wish: Slander, Pure and Simple

Fri Mar 2 07:29:27 2012
To: all
Dear TFC,
Today I logged on to have my day darkened by the note posted by Mish
that clearly slanders the Wish First National Bank of TFC, and makes
patently false statements about the integrity of Lexie and myself.
I am deeply offended at the unwarranted attack on my honesty and motives.
The malicious suggestion that Lexie and I have formed some sort of
dasterdly cabal to undermine Mish is clearly unfounded.
For too long, Mish has taken advantage of TFC with her exorbitant fees
and her monopoly on certain critical services in the Guild. Now,
apparently, she has decided to extend her vicious grip with
unwarrented attacks on my character.

I am a gentleman and a strict code of honor forms my very core. I have
proven this time and time again over my many years in this realm.
It simply goes without saying that this code of honor extends
to the valuable banking services that I now offer in the abscence
of Mish. You have my most sincere and firm promise that should you
choose to deposit your gold with Wish First National Bank of TFC it
will be forever safe and at all times available to you during banking hours.

Please, don't be swayed by the deeply hurtful and unprofessional words of
Mish, the "abscondress". She does dishonor to herself and the entire
banking profession through her inconsiderate actions. I encourage
to turn your back on such inconsiderate words, and treat them for what they are:
Slander, pure and simple.

Thank you for your time and your business,
Wish, President and CEO of Wish First National Bank of TFC

[ 18] Lexie: Mish. Let's do this already. Girl v. Girl.

Fri Mar 2 21:29:03 2012
To: all
Name the time. And the place.


[ 19] Wish: New Automated Deposits and Balance!

Sun Mar 4 06:14:12 2012
To: all
Dear TFC,
Wish First National Bank of TFC is please to announce our new automated
banking teller! This wonderful innovation features automatic
deposits and balance retrieval! For deposits, simply give your gold
to the teller (me) and it will automatically be added to your account
in our fully safe and secure vault. Our magical database system will
report back your new balance. You may also retrieve your current balance
by simply telling the teller (me) "balance". We are very proud to present
this new service to our loyal customers, and hope you find it a convenience.
Withdrawals shall remain manual for the continued safety of our account
holder's funds. Rest assured that you may withdraw the full balance of
your account at any time during banking hours.

(In tiny, tiny lettering: Abuse of the automated banking system
also known as "Teller Abuse" shall be deemed a violation of the account
holder's banking agreement. Wish First National Bank reserves the right
to charge up 10% of the account holder's balance for each occurrence.
Repeated occurrences of Teller Abuse may result in the termination of
the account holder's funds and return of the remaining balance, less
all Teller Abuse fees.)

Yours Truly,
Wish, President of Wish First National Bank of TFC

[ 20] Tynian: Mish

Sun Mar 4 12:35:14 2012
To: crash all
Mish is still in protective custody.

[ 21] Allanthon: A day of peace and healing.

Sun Mar 4 12:55:11 2012
To: all
To the people of the realm,
In my efforts to maintain inner peace, I hereby declare Sunday a day of peace and healing.
I offer my talents as a healer to the realm on this day, yes Evils this means you too. I will
be available for spells when I am on between 11:59 pm Saturday night and the 24 hours
that follows. During this time I will also be offering immunity from attacks initiated by
me. My enemies may rest easy on this day and go about their business unharmed. I would
like to make a couple things completely clear.

1) This is "My" day of peace and healing, my following has nothing to do with this.

2) If any Evil/UA receives any of my spells and uses them in an act of aggression toward
the others of this realm, you will be blacklisted and will never receive another spell from me.

That is all,
Allanthon Stormcloud, The Shrouded Druid (Wisdom) (EMS)

[ 22] Lexie: Now Hiring!

Sun Mar 4 14:39:36 2012
To: all
Tellers: Must have great personality, and sort of good with numbers.
Security: Must have great killer skills, and great with...killing.

Plushy dolls still available for First time Wish National Bank of TFC Customers.
Great interest rates. Please see Wish if you are wanting that summer home.

Oh, and ... GIRL POWER!

[ 23] Ink: Mish

Sun Mar 4 19:52:53 2012
To: all
How about we put Mish in hiding in an evil-only room for a while now?

[ 24] Troy: RE: Ink: Mish

Mon Mar 5 03:20:10 2012
To: all

note read 25

[ 25] Wellington: re ink troy
Mon Mar 5 15:40:39 2012
To: all
Mish is hidden away from all the evil people that want her dead
This is the reason for the spot she has chosen and i think it is for best
Yours truely the soon to be Unfetter machine
Wellington Squire of the Legion

[ 26] Nazareth: Mish

Mon Mar 5 20:09:12 2012
To: all

If Mish is in hiding, how is she still collecting fines from me?
This just proves that she's a no good thief!!!

I want my 10k back. :(

<3 Naz

[ 27] Jin: Mish

Tue Mar 6 05:03:13 2012
To: all
How about Mish just returns to her post.

[ 28] Borlan: Help Wanted; Inquire Within

Thu Mar 8 13:51:19 2012
To: all
You see a handwritten note:

I need your help. Things... aren't right... and I need a number of objects
to help fix things.

I wish I could be more specific about the not-rightness, though I now
believe Mish's removal from the guild plays some sort of role. Whether
it is a cause or a symptom is unknown.

SUBMIT as many of the items on the SCAVENGER LIST as you are able. I
can offer no reward, except for my thanks for your help.

I will continue to collect items until I have what I need.

The Mystical Messengers

The first mystical messengers from Guido and Merrick showed up on 03/04/2012.
(Log provided by Wish)

Someone's disease mauls itself.
Someone's disease mauls itself.
Someone's disease wounds itself.

c 'faerie fog'
You conjure a cloud of purple smoke.
A mystical messenger is revealed!

A mystical messenger is here, its only purpose to deliver a message to
its chosen target.
A mystical messenger has a few bruises.

You peek at the inventory:

The newsboy arrives from above.

You say (in common), 'uhoh'.

The Lower Hall
[Exits: north up]
This hallway must have been built by giants! It is huge! Then
again, there are more than a few giants that belong to The Guild, so
it may just be so. A stairway leads up to another hallway above.
(White Aura) The newsboy stands here selling newspapers.
(Translucent) A mystical messenger is here to deliver someone a message.
Kale is here.


Kale disappears into the void.
A mystical messenger's sores fester.
A mystical messenger's disease wounds itself.

The Lower Hall
[Exits: north up]
This hallway must have been built by giants! It is huge! Then
again, there are more than a few giants that belong to The Guild, so
it may just be so. A stairway leads up to another hallway above.
(White Aura) The newsboy stands here selling newspapers.
(Translucent) A mystical messenger is here to deliver someone a message.

Yo, Wish, I have a message for you from Guido!

A mystical messenger utters the words, 'jiyzhhzf'.
You feel less connected.

Yo, Wish, I have a message for you from Merrick!

A mystical messenger utters the words, 'jiyzhhzf'.
You feel less connected.

Talking With Tynian

(Log provided by Wish)

You gossip (in common), 'Hello Tynian!'.

Tynian gossips, 'Greetings'.

You gossip (in common), 'Our records show that you do not yet have an account with Wish First National Bank of TFC!'.
You gossip (in common), 'Or our free checking!'.
You gossip (in common), 'Not to mention our convenient location and personalized customer service!'.

Tynian gossips, 'I'm impressed. The vendors take checks now?'.

You gossip (in common), 'Oh, you misunderstand'.
You gossip (in common), '"Free Checking" = "free checking of balance"'.
You gossip (in common), 'common misconception'.

Tynian gossips, '*smirk*'.

Ssendam questions (in common), 'can i check others balance?'.

Tynian answers, 'Now that would be fun.'.

Kale answers (in common), 'for a fee :P a credit check :P'.

(brief break here because I was unfettered)

You gossip (in common), 'We here at WFNB take the security of our depositor's funds very seriously'.
You gossip (in common), 'Every transaction made is logged in our secure system.'.

Tynian gossips, 'Oh, you use sticky notes too??'.

You gossip (in common), 'And we perform twice daily backups of our core database.'.
You gossip (in common), 'Oh, no, Tynian, we use lined notepad paper.'.

Tynian gossips, 'No. Way.'.

You gossip (in common), 'It does get tedious, but hey, we are a top notch organization'.
You gossip (in common), 'Now you know why Mish is afraid of the competition.'.
You gossip (in common), 'Not only are we cheaper, but we operate a much tighter ship.'.
You gossip (in common), 'Also, we have a very generous employee benefit plan.'.

Tynian gossips, 'Well, rowboat, anyway.'.

You gossip (in common), 'you say tomato, i say squash'.

The Plushies

The plushies were also mentioned in Natilena's title:
Elf [ Greater Goddess ] Natilena isn't grumpy, she has a plushie!