12-18-2014

"Christmas in a Padded Cell," by Lexie, Pre-Order now!

TFCtunes--
Pre-order album now

Porto, the Sponge-Nosed Huntster
Alarm Bells
Jolly, But Naughty Nicholai
Tynian is Coming to Town
We Great Gods of TFC Are
Feliz Navidad (feat. Schwartz)
Christmas Wish
All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Fangs (feat. DarkClaw)
Sparhawk Got Disemboweled by a Hunter
Have Yourself a Suicidal Mage Fest (feat. Hutt)
You're a Mean One, Sir Venom!(feat. entire TFC player choir)
Bloo Christmas
Malkil the Rat Man
Away in the Mangar
Deck the Guild
God Rest Ye Merry Sahuagin (feat. Theros)
Here Comes Tynian
Oh Come All Unfaithful
The First Nashite
I'm a Swedish Fish

---- Cut to Infomercial ----
“Let’s celebrate this Christmas with a Holiday Spectacular Special Offer only available here! Call now to receive your copy of the never-before released 'Christmas in a Padded Cell,' written by Lexie, produced by our very own Nevyn, Master Bard, *And* if you purchase the entire album you’ll also get songs featuring Lady DarkClaw, Schwartz, Hutt, and Theros!

That’s right, *Christmas in a Padded Cell* contains 20, yes, TWENTY, of the most popular holiday songs. Digitally re-mastered for TFC, these amazing melodies were written by Lexie during her most recent stay at the Midgaard Sanatorium, and recorded by the Realm-Famous Bard, Nevyn. They can all be yours now for one low, low price. Never before heard tunes, such as “Porto, the Sponge-Nosed Huntster,” and “Sparhawk Got Disemboweled by a Hunter,” have been added to this AMAZING double-album.

--- Music pipes in from the background ---
(“Porto, the Sponge-Nosed Huntster” begins to play)

"You know Sagan and Aoide,
And Strad-y and Eathey,
Lambert and Cusithe-y
And StInky and Pharey.
But do you recall …
The most famousssssss Huntster of all?

Porto the Sponge-Nosed Huntster
(Huntster)
Had a very slimey nose
(Like green goo)
And if you ever saw it
(Saw it)
You would even say it grows
(Like a ….)
All of the other Huntsters
(Muensters)
Used to laugh and call him names
(Like *censored* *bleep**bleep*)
They never let poor Porto
(bellow)
Play in any Huntster games
(Like da Munchkin)

Then one soggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
(“Hoe, hoe, hoe” )
Porto, with your nose so slick’t
Won't you glide me thru the Thick’t?
Then all the Huntsters loved him
(Loved him)
As they spurted out with pee
(Mess-y)
"Porto the Sponge-Nosed Huntster
(Huntster)
You'll go down in Infamy!"

(Over background music sounding just like Jingle Bells, Announcer says, “And you can’t forget the classic, “Alarm Bells”)

“Dashing through the Plains
On a Sami imp invis,
O’er the ghosts we go,
Panicked all the way.
Bells on ground we lay,
Making spirits fright,
Fun ‘tis not to hear *ding* WHAT!
The slaying song tonight, O
A-larm bells, a-larm bells
Alarms all the way!
O what fear it is to hear
Evil bells go off right HERE!”

(Announcer’s voice, “Lexie’s infatuation with the resident ancient fanged one, Nicholai, is quite apparent with this rendition of Jolly Old Saint Nicolas”)

(Lexie’s muffled shout, “Oh please, I infatuate no one!” can be heard in the background, if you slo-mo the infomercial, amidst clatter and banging of equipment.)

“Oh, ancient Saint Nicholai,
Lean your ear this way!
Don’t tell a single soul
What I’m going to say:
Christmas Eve is coming soon…
Now, you dear fanged one,
Whisper what you’ll do to me,
Tell me if you can.

When the clock is striking twelve,
when I'm not asleep
Down the chimney, broad and steep,
with your cloak you'll creep
All the stockings you will find
hanging in a row
Mine will be the hottest one,
you'll be sure to know.

Bels-y wants a pair of boots,
Inky wants me dead
Dun-ny wants a picture book,
yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me, dear St. Nich;
you know ME the best!”

(Announcer’s voice over what sounds like Santa Claus is Coming to Town – “You and your entire family will truly *love* “Tynian is Coming to Town!”)

“You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Tyn-I-an is coming to town

He's making a list,
And checking it thrice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice.
Tyn-I-an is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be BAD for goodness sake!”

(Announcer says, “Let’s not forget the other Great Immortals of the Realm! You can enjoy countless hours of We Great Gods of TFC Are if you purchase Christmas in a Padded Cell!")

“We Great Gods of TFC Are
Nat-I, Tok-u, Cordir, Tamar
Pit and Kitchen, at Mish bitch’n
Following yonder whine.

O, whine of wonder, whine of might
Whine with royal pain in sight
Rift is leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to the perfect smite.”

(Announcer shouts, “But wait! There’s more! You’ll hear the exclusive single, “Feliz Navidad,” featuring Schwartz, only available through this special offer.”)

(You think you hear Schwartz singing in muffled Spanglish)

"Feliz Navidad! Felice, Where'sDaBeer!"

(Announcer says, in quiet voice, “And, Lexie’s rendition of “Christmas Wish,” just for you lovebirds out there.")

“It’s Christmas night
I’m by the spiderpit
Wishing that you and I
Could share our love one more time
And baby I, I need you near me
(To BS you)
Right here with me for eternit-y
Exchanging gifts of death and treacher-y
Holding your corpse, this is my Christmas wish.”

(Announcer says excitedly, “And, special featured artist, DarkClaw, can be heard in the “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Fangs!")

(DarkClaw’s sultry voice)

"All I want for Christmas
Is my two front fangs,"

(Lexie’s shriek (in common), “Oh no fangs!”)

"My two front fangs,"

(Lexie cries (in common), “Oh the pangs!”)

"See my two front fangs.
Gee, if I could only have my two front fangs,
Then I could wish you, “Merry Christmas!”

(Lexie sings (in common), “Merry Christmas!”)

(Announcer bellows, “New releases such as, “Sparhawk Got Disemboweled by a Hunter,” heard here for the first time!")

(music sounding awfully like "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" begins to play)

“Sparhawk got disemboweled by a Hunter
Runnin’ from MOK one Fall eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as bounty
But for me and Bor-o, we believe.

He’d been drinkin’ too much whiskey.
And we’d begged him not to go.
But he was hot on some tail (oh Lore!)
And he staggered out the door,
Into the snow.

When we found him that next mornin’,
At the scene of the attack.
He had shackles on his cold arms,
And incriminatn’ Lore marks on his back.”

(Announcer says, “And who can forget the infamous, realm famous, Suicide Mage, with featured Immortal Artist, Hutt!")

(Music sounding like, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” can be heard.)

“Have yourself a Suicidal Mage Fest
Let your bags be light
From now on,

(Hutt’s voice pipes in, “Your kilos won’t be out of sight”)

"Have yourself a Suicidal Mage Fest
Don’t let ghosties pray,
From now on,
Your troubles will be zones away.

"Here we are as in Two-X days,

(Hutt sings (in common), “Happy golden days of yore.”)

"Flighty friends who just steal from us
Scatter far from us once more.

(refrain)

"Through the years we all will be together
If the Imms allow
Hang a Belsambar near the closest Drow
And have yourself a Suicidal Mage Fest now.”

(Announcer excitedly shouts, “And, one of Lexie’s favorite songs, “You’re a mean one, Sir Venom!,” (fashioned after “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”), she declared she didn’t have to change a single word, other than the name!" The entire TFC player choir can also be heard here, exclusively!")

(Music sounding like, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," can be heard)

“You're a foul one, Sir Venom!
(Choir of TFC Players, “You're a nasty, wasty skunk!)
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Sir Venom!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
(Choir of TFC Players, "Stink, stank, stunk!")
You're a rotter, Sir Venom!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
(Choir of TFC Players, “Oh, Venom!)
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!”

(Announcer says, “Then there is, “Bloo Christmas,” who can forget such a classic!”)

“I’m dreaming of a Bloo Christmas
Just like the ones I never knew
Where the whiners dissin’
And Immsies listen?
To hear Boro’s puns, ugh No!”

(Announcer breaks in, “Kids all over the Realm love singing this song, and who could blame them! Yes, the one and only, “Malkil, the Rat Man!””)

“Malkil the Rat Man was a jolly happy soul,
With Cresom’s pipe and Buttons’ nose
And two Eyes he clearly stole.
Malkil the Rat Man is a fairy tail, they say
He does the info,
But the realm know
Why he came back this fine day.
There must have been Art Magic on that old silk hat he found.
For when he placed it on his head, he began to prance around.”


(Announcer says solemnly, “Lexie’s rendition of Away in the Manger is sure to please, as in therapy she came to terms with her loudness….”)

“Away in the Mangar, no crypt for the dead,
The little lass Lexie laid down her sweet head.
The Imms in the sky looked down where she lay,
The little lass Lexie asleep we all pray.
The guards are shouting, and Lexie awakes,
But little lass Lexie no whining she makes.
We love thee, lass Lexie, but hope you don’t cry.
And stay so unfettered til morning is nigh.”

(Announcer breaks in, “Lexie included Theros, willingly, she emphatically adds, to this take on "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…”)

“God rest you merry Sahuagin
Let no one be fillet
Remember ye have flavor

(Theros pipes in (in sahuagin))

“No corn on Christmas day,
Oh save us from a bloated belly
When we gone ashore, eh”

(Lexie and Theros, in unison)

“Oh tidings of comfort and krill,
Comfort and krill,
Oh tidings of comfort and krill.”

Screen scrolls by with:

Here Comes Tynian
Oh Come All Unfaithful
The First Nashite

(Announcer shouts, 3 octaves louder, “But wait! There’s more! Exclusively on this album is “I’m a Swedish Fish,” dedicated to Lexie’s favorite Sahuagin. “)

(Melody strangely similar to “I’m a Gummibear”)

“Oh I’m a Swedish Fish.
Yes I’m a Swedish Fish.
Oh I’m a yummy tummy funny lucky cherry fish.
I’m a jelly fish. Cause I’m a gummy fish.
Oh I’m a movin’ groovin’ jammin’ singing Swedish fish.
Oh yeaaaaooooh.
Cherry cherry cherry
Cherry Theros-fish.
Cherry cherry cherry
Cherry Swedish Fish.
Bai ding ba doli (what now?)
Bamm bing ba doli (oh wow)
Breding ba doli
Party what the F..
Ba Ba bidubidubi yum yum
Three times you can lick He!”


(Announcer shouts, “And, if you order within the next 10 minutes, you’ll receive the Sing-Along Song Book, so you too, can sing along.”)

(Announcer shouts louder, “But wait, there’s more! Order now and you will receive a Coloring Book used exclusively at the MG Sanatorium with their Music Therapy Program. “)

“Call 1-800-Unfetrd now to receive the exciting new double-album, “Christmas in a Padded Cell,” the Sing-Along Song Book, *and* exclusive Coloring Book, all for the low, low price of 1299 gp. Your heard right, only 1299! So call now. Agents standing by.”

And that's how it goes! Rock on, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays!

Lexie,
President, Girl Power, Ltd.
CEO, Bad Sport, Inc.
Nashite Magi
Alchemist
Dark, Kerri's Angel

• Squish* Squish*
  

Stalked by the Shroom’s Apprentice – Log by Lexie

6 players.
Hel [ Bard: 2 1 1 ] Aeva the Half-Elf Maiden
Elf [ Ra:16 Ma:15 ] Alis the Lost Elf Maiden
Hum [ Th:10 Ra:10 ] Talmus Has lost his magic.
Hum [ Wa:30 Th:30 Ma:30 ] Lexie, Soul-Devouring NashiTe Succubus *D*A*M*
Hum [ Triat Weaver ] Cordir: Lady Stormreaver, Patroness of Bards
Hum [ Lesser Goddess ] DarkClaw k'Treva: Lost Ancient Chylde of Ybarra. *AOB*

### [Portobello tells Talmus (in common), 'and up when you can']

You gossip (in common), 'can i please be unobs now'.
You gossip (in common), 'you have other targets'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'like whom?!'.

You gossip (in common), 'well Raage? dearest? i heart you and all but...i think you'd survive better than i would'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'i have killed raage too :('.

You gossip (in common), 'well ok go back to the beginning of the alphabet then!'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'so... L comes before R...'.

You gossip (in common), 'oh'.
You gossip (in common), 'ok scratch what i said :PP'.

Someone gossips (in common), '*snicker*'.

8 players.
Hum [ Wa:30 Tg:30 Cl:30 ] Raage is the Once and Future Player *Ebrithil*
Hel [ Bard: 2 1 1 ] Aeva the Half-Elf Maiden
Elf [ Ma:15 Ra:16 ] Alis the Lost Elf Maiden
Hum [ Wyld Beacon ] Portobello, Wyld Cannibal of the Hunt
Hum [ Th:10 Ra:10 ] Talmus Has lost his magic.
Hum [ Wa:30 Th:30 Ma:30 ] Lexie, Soul-Devouring NashiTe Succubus *D*A*M*
Hum [ Triat Weaver ] Cordir: Lady Stormreaver, Patroness of Bards
Hum [ Lesser Goddess ] DarkClaw k'Treva: Lost Ancient Chylde of Ybarra. *AOB*

Portobello gossips (in common), 'okay, raage is obscured'.

You gossip (in common), 'whew'.

Raage gossips (in common), 'indeed i am'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'now I am obscuring you, Lexie'.

You gossip (in common), 'no no'.

The Sea-Lock
[Exits: none]
This small chamber is barricaded at both ends and is used for docking
underwater, providing a chamber to keep the Te'nayu'ka from flooding
when unloading at Tiren's Rock. Stout doors keep back the waters, an
unbreakable lock on each.

Someone gossips (in common), 'and I am going to come and keeeel you'.

You gossip (in common), 'oh that's surprising...'.
You gossip (in common), 'you want me to spend Christmas in the looney bin eh?'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'i don't want that  :('.

You gossip (in common), 'of course not, it's a safe room, you cant kill me in there!'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'I can!'.

7 players.
Hum [ Wa:30 Tg:30 Cl:30 ] Raage is the Once and Future Player *Ebrithil*
Hel [ Bard: 2 1 1 ] Aeva the Half-Elf Maiden
Elf [ Ma:15 Ra:16 ] Alis the Lost Elf Maiden
Hum [ Wyld Beacon ] Portobello, Wyld Cannibal of the Hunt
Hum [ Ra:10 Th:10 ] Talmus Has lost his magic.
Hum [ Wa:30 Th:30 Ma:30 ] Lexie, Soul-Devouring NashiTe Succubus *D*A*M*
Hum [ Lesser Goddess ] DarkClaw k'Treva: Lost Ancient Chylde of Ybarra. *AOB*

You gossip (in common), 'no way'.
You gossip (in common), 'the doctors lied to me?'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'Would you like to wager?'.

You gossip (in common), 'not really...no...being the cell was locked and such :P'.

Someone picks the door.

You stand up.

c 'tele'
You make the gesture necessary to invoke your spell.
Your vision dims to black. When it returns, your surroundings are different.

An Altar Amidst the Snapdragons
[Exits: north east south west]
The sky is rainy and a warm southerly breeze blows.
A monolithic altar decorated with carved dragon shapes rises up.

You gossip (in common), 'ok who made me freak out and run'.

Someone draws a funny looking rune on you.

You gossip (in common), 'omg'.

You cant, 'I’m losing my mind lol'.
You cant, 'who the heck marked me'.
You cant, 'and who picked the door!'.
You cant 'diff spots!'.

You hear a distinct pop as someone's portal closes up.
Someone draws a funny looking rune on you.

c 'faerie fog
You conjure a cloud of purple smoke.

An Altar Amidst the Snapdragons
[Exits: north east south west]
The sky is rainy and a cold northern gust blows.
You managed to trample any tracks that were here...
A monolithic altar decorated with carved dragon shapes rises up.

You sleep.

You gossip (in common), 'ok...'.
You gossip (in common), 'something is stalking me :( i need a xanax'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'i have some xanax'.

Raage gossips (in common), 'i think you can buy those in Rowen'.

You gossip (in common), 'hehe'.
You gossip (in common), 'really, if it's the tempest, i'd like to know HOW after like 5 days, it remembers'.

DarkClaw gossips, 'It has a really good memory?'.

You gossip (in common), 'bah'.

Under Mysterra Falls
[Exits: north west]
The sky is rainy and a cold northern gust blows.

It is impossible to track here.

Someone grins evilly.

c 'wiz
You make the gesture necessary to invoke your spell.
You draw a wizard mark rune in the air.

People near you:
Lexie

You gasp in astonishment.
You frown. What's bothering you?

You say (in common), 'how do i not see you'.

Someone says (in sahuagin), 'I am a ninja!'.

Your warning magic fades.
Your wizard mark fades.
This locale has been cleansed from unnatural influences.

You say (in common), 'omg'.

c 'tele'
You make the gesture necessary to invoke your spell.
Your vision dims to black. When it returns, your surroundings are different.

A Quiet Meadow
[Exits: north]
You are standing in the south end of a quiet meadow. High green grass
The sky is rainy and a cold northern gust blows.
You managed to trample any tracks that were here...

You gossip (in common), 'OMG who is that'.
You gossip (in common), 'omg i need shock therapy'.

Opening a portal to At the Top of the Great Acacia Tree.
At the Top of the Great Acacia Tree
[Exits: north south down]
The sky is rainy and a cold northern gust blows.
You may not track while flying.
No longer attempting to track...
A nut from the great acacia tree has fallen here.

You hear a distinct pop as someone's portal closes up.

c 'wizard'
You make the gesture necessary to invoke your spell.
You draw a wizard mark rune in the air.

c 'dark'
Someone draws a funny looking rune on you.
Ok.

s
On a High Branch
[Exits: north south]
A nut from the great acacia tree has fallen here.

You gossip (in common), 'omg who is that'.

l
It is unusually dark...

Someone tickles you - hee hee hee.

You scream. ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
You faint.

The Sea-Lock
[Exits: none]

You rest.

Someone picks the door.
Someone opens the door.

The Sea-Lock
[Exits: north]
This small chamber is barricaded at both ends and is used for docking
underwater, providing a chamber to keep the Te'nayu'ka from flooding
when unloading at Tiren's Rock. Stout doors keep back the waters, an
unbreakable lock on each.

You say (in common), 'omg'.
You say (in common), 'who is this!'.

Captain Ak'ash'eck yells (in sahuagin), 'Cast off moorings! The Te'nayu'ka is on its way!'.

You say (in common), 'you are freaking me out'.

Someone says (in sahuagin), 'I am the shroom's apprentice!'.

You laugh.
You shudder from the sheer thought of it.
You faint.

Someone utters the words, 'create food'.
A Magic Mushroom suddenly appears.

Someone utters the words, 'create food'.
A Magic Mushroom suddenly appears.

Someone says (in sahuagin), '..see?'.

You say (in common), 'omg'.
You ponder the question.

You say (in common), 'who ARE YOU'.

Someone utters the words, 'portal'.

You gossip (in common), 'i'd like to file a report for terrorist threats'.

Someone utters the words, 'portal'.
The air shimmers as someone creates a portal here.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'what!?'.

You gossip (in common), 'omg'.
You gossip (in common), 'WHO ARE YOU'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'you keep saying that'.

You gossip (in common), 'you are freaking me out'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'I do not think that word means what you think it means'.


You gossip (in common), 'hehehehehehe'.
You gossip (in common), 'ok well, you can freak me out, i love that movie :P'.

You hear a distinct pop as someone's portal closes up.
Someone draws a funny looking rune on you.

You say (in common), 'uh'.
You say (in common), 'no!'.
You say (in common), 'who are you'.
You say (in common), 'die!'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'lexie you are oblivious girl'.

You gossip (in common), 'i know'.
You gossip (in common), 'DIE!'.

Someone gives you a small wooden tube of iocaine powder.

You laugh.

Someone says (in sahuagin), 'eat it!'.

You gossip (in common), 'i am impervious to iocaine powder you know'.

Someone gossips (in sahuagin), 'then eat it!'.

>eat powder
You eat a small wooden tube of iocaine powder.
You choke and gag.

You gossip (in common), 'doh'.
You sleep.

You shiver and suffer.
You feel solid again.

You gossip (in common), 'you fiend'.
You gossip (in common), 'WHO ARE YOU'.

c 'cure poison
You don't have the faintest idea how to do that, but you try anyway.

You shiver and suffer.
Your poison scratches yourself.

You say (in common), 'ack'.



Someone says (in sahuagin), 'you did not build up a proper immunity!'.

You say (in common), 'i did!'.
You cry. Waaaaah...

DarkClaw gossips, 'My name is Inigo Montoya! You keeled my fahdder. Prepare to DIE!'.

You get a orange potion with greyish swirls from a stout cargo net.
quaff orange
You quaff a orange potion with greyish swirls.
You are surrounded by a white aura.

You gossip (in common), 'heheh'.

A glowing potion with orange swirls lies here.
You see the following faint symbols: [m|L19 remove curse cure poison 2#]
If this item were destroyed, don't expect it to re-appear.

>quaff orange
You quaff a glowing potion with orange swirls.
A warm feeling runs through your body.
You clap your hands together.

Christmas Birthdays – Log by Lexie

You gossip (in common), 'having a bday close to xmas is great when the person sending gift doesnt know you well, but if they do....they tend to bundle it with xmas and that SUCKS'.

Someone pats you on your back.

You giggle.

Raage gossips (in common), 'boohoo...at least people give you gifts'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'it's nice when it's your kid and you don't have to spend so much on presents ;)'.

You gossip (in common), 'omg you vile thing'.
You gossip (in common), 'xmas babies hate you'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'my daughter loves me!'.

You gossip (in common), 'we want SEPARATE gifts'.
You gossip (in common), 'hehe'.
You gossip (in common), 'always separate gifts'.
You gossip (in common), 'even if its small'.

Someone gossips (in common), 'we are planning on just not telling her she has a birthday at all'.

You gossip (in common), 'OMG'.
You gossip (in common), 'i knew you were evil....but damn you make venom look like santa claus'.

Raage gossips (in common), 'i tried that with my kids....stupid g-parents got in the way'.

The Kill Lexie Quest - log by Lexie

7 players.
Hum [ Wa:30 Tg:30 Cl:30 ] Raage is the Once and Future Player *Ebrithil*
Hel [ Bard: 1 1 1 ] Eliszae the Half-Elf Maiden
Elf [ Ma:15 Ra:16 ] Alis the Lost Elf Maiden
Hum [ Wyld Beacon ] Portobello, Wyld Cannibal of the Hunt
Hum [ Ra:11 Th:10 ] Talmus Has lost his magic.
Hum [ Wa:30 Th:30 Ma:30 ] Lexie, Soul-Devouring NashiTe Succubus *D*A*M*
Hum [ Lesser Goddess ] DarkClaw k'Treva: Lost Ancient Chylde of Ybarra. *AOB*

Portobello gossips (in common), 'shall we do an ammq?'.
Portobello gossips (in common), 'or quest to kill Lexie?'.

You gossip (in common), 'you're lucky I was talking to the mailman, sponge!'.
You gossip (in common), 'die!'.
You gossip (in common), 'ammq sounds good to me, or arena'.
You gossip (in common), 'i'd rather arena so I can murderlate you'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'you really want to arena? :P'.

You gossip (in common), 'yes yes I do'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'haha'.

You gossip (in common), 'hush!'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'ok, i'm game :)'.

Someone pats you on your back.

You giggle.

You tell Teva (in common), 'smoooches porto has me ob'.

• • • QUEST SIGN-UP IS NOW AVAILABLE ***
      

You gossip (in common), 'DIE BOYS DIE'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'conditions of the quest?'.

You are now signed up.

You gossip (in common), 'I signed up, I don’t need conditions'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'me too/either!'.

You gossip (in common), 'but boys...die'.
You gossip (in common), 'and fungus die'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'sounds like fun gus'.

You gossip (in common), 'is this a team friendly or deadly'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'awesome I love obscure :P'.

You gossip (in common), 'teva!'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'what?'.
Teva gossips (in common), 'I am awake now'.

Portobello gossips (in common), 'she wants to conspire!'.

Someone gossips, 'it is a Kill Lexie rules'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'ok. Done'.

You gossip (in common), '... well damn nevermind :P'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'lol'.

You gossip (in common), 'teva can die!'.

• • • THERE IS A QUEST IN PROGRESS ***
      
    • DEATH WILL CAUSE CHARACTER'S CORPSE TO APPEAR IN INVENTORY ***
      
    • SAFE ROOMS ARE CURRENTLY *NOT* SAFE. ***
      
    • Quest sign-up has ended. ***
      

Portobello gossips (in common), 'haha'.

Teva gossips (in common), 'lol'.

(End scene)