The Final Challenge Wiki - User contributions [en]

Crunch

2012-07-10T17:15:48Z

Crunch: /* Crunch's Culinary Creationz */

{{Info pc
|name = Crunch
|incarnation =
|styled_as = The Culinary Ogre
|imm_rank =
|created = June 21, 2012
|status =
|retire_date =
|race = {{Race|Ogre}}
|hometown =
|classes = {{Class|Warrior}} {{Class|Shaman}}
|last_seen =
|followed = [[DarkClaw]]
|spouse =
|partner =
|parents =
|children =
|relatives =
|areas_written =
|immorted_on =
|following =
|portfolio =
}}
== Mud Contributions: ==
* See Notes Below
 
== Current Description: ==
Ogre. 
Master Chef. 
Eatz elf toez. 
 
Crunch won't win any beauty contests. 
== WHO Lists: ==
06-26-2012 : Ogr [ Wa: 7 Sh:12 ] Crunch, Charred Culinary Ebrithil Captain of Lost 
07-06-2012 : Ogr [ Sh:19 Wa:15 ] Crunch, Charred Ebrithil Culinary Capt. of the Lost 
07-08-2012 : Ogr [ Sh:21 Wa:16 ] Crunch, Charred Ebrithil Cereal Killer of the Lost 
 

== Crunch's Culinary Creationz ==
===[ 10] Crunch: *Psaghetty n Inkballz*===
Sat Jun 23 07:50:38 2012 
To: all 
Ingredienz: 
extra virgin elf oil; onion; garlic; lots of tomatoes from halfling 
farm; basil; parmesan cheez; salt (lotz); bottle red wine (from 
that drunk dude at Abbey); 1 lb ground Ink; psaghetty 
Directionz: 
Prepare the sauce: Squeeze 1 virgin elf tightly. Put oil in pot on 
medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic. Stir. Stepz on the tomatoes 
then add. Reduce heat, stirz alot. 
Prepare the Inkballz: Find an Ink fishy. Squish it. Add salt, basil, 
and some cheez. Rollz into ballz or use melon scooper thingy. 
Heat frying pan on high heat. Brown the Inkballz, this ain't sushi! 
Add red wine, cheez, salt and Inkballz to sauce. Gently stir. 
While sauce is simmering, cookz the psaghetty. 
To serve, dump psaghetty on a plate or in a bowl. Dump sauce 
over it. Sprinkle some cheez. Add more salt. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 2 dwarf or 3 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 

----

===[ 11] Crunch: *Mumz Southern Og Fried Fzoul*===
Sat Jun 23 08:28:58 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
3 eggs; 1/3 cup water; cup hot! red pepperz; 2 cup flour; 1 tsp. pepper 
salt; 2 lb. Fzoul, cut into piecez; elf oil 
 
Directionz: 
In a medium size bowl, beat the eggs. Beat them! Pour water. Stepz on 
pepperz and add. In another bowl, combine the flour and pepper. 
Find Fzoul. Pluck limbz off a Fzoul. Dip the Fzoul partz in the egg, and 
then coat well in the flour mix. Squeez 5 elfz. Heat oil in a deep pot. 
Fry the Fzoul in the oil until brown and crispy. Dark meat takes longer 
than white meat...we can't tell til we catch the Fzoul, but about 10-14 min. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 3 dwarf or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
----

===[ 12] Crunch: *Drakar Sprinklz Donutz*===
Sun Jun 24 11:36:28 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
elf oil; flour; sugar; 1 tbs. baking KAPOWder; 1/2 tsp. baking soda 
cinnamon; nutmeg and allspice; salt; 2 eggs; 1 egg yolk; buttermilk 
(ew I know but it workz); pumpkin; butter; half-elf extract 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz thoz fancy ingredienz from Ruby. Stealz eggz from Hovelton. 
Stealz 6 elfz and 1 half-elf. Findz a pumpkin and stepz on it. Findz a 
Drakar and tiez him up (ignore his attemptz to woo you). Squeez 6 
elfz and 1 half-elf tightly! Preheat elf oil in a large Troll oven. Whisk 
dry ingredienz in a bowl. Whisk eggz, yolk, buttermilk, pumpkin, butter 
(just breathe on it, will melt) and half-elf extract in another bowl. Add 
them all and mix a lot, sir! The dough will be very sticky, don't try to 
groom self yet. Dump some flour on a board. Pat out dough. Use finger- 
nail (doesn't have to be clean) to cut out 3-inch round donutz. Punch hole 
in center of each. Fry donutz until brown and crizpy. Putz on a rack to cool. 
Now the tricky part: Pluckz fingerz or toez of the Drakar (ignore his attemptz 
to woo you). Chop into small piecez. Sprinklz the piecez on the donutz. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 6 dwarvz or 7 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
----

===[ 13] Crunch: *Baby Back Belsambar Ribz*===
Sun Jun 24 19:05:42 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
bottle of whiskey (find a dwarf); elf oil; onion; garlic; lemon; ketchup 
coffee; brown sugar; bottle red wine (drunk dude at Abbey); salt 
pepper; woostershirz sauce; molasses; 2 rackz of Belsambar ribz 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz ingredienz. Knock out a dwarf, take whiskey. Findz a Belsambar 
tie him to a rafter, but don't chopz yet, keep him fresh. Squeez 2 elvz. In 
a large saucepan, heat the elf oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, stir 
til onion as soft as a half-elf belly button. Add garlic, pepper, lemon, 
ketchup, coffee, sugar, wine, woostershirz, and molasses, and bring to a 
simmer. Remove from heat, let cool. Swish in mouth til it's pureed, spit back 
into large dish. Fun part now: ripz out ribz of the Belsambar. All of them! 
Put ribz in dish with sauce. Let sit awhile. Putz ribz on grill, keep basting 
them Belsambar ribz til done. 
 
Servez 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

----

===[ 14] Crunch: *Chocolate Celeste-Filled Cupcakz*===
Tue Jun 26 09:52:05 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
flour; sugar; cocoa powder; baking soda; salt; egg; butter; buttermilk 
vanilla extract; water; milk; cream cheez; chopz toez of a Celeste 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz ingredienz from Ruby. Oh, just knock Ruby out, you need her oven, 
too. Preheat Ruby's oven to 350 degrez. Lightly butter her muffin tin. 
(Sickoz, mind out of gutter). In a large bowl, add flour, sugar, cocoa 
dash of baking soda, lotz of salt. Mix it! Add 1 egg, vanilla, 1 cup water. 
Beat with fist - the batter, not Ruby. Pour into tin. Bake til they are 
puffy and your fingernail goes in the cake and comez out clean, about 20 
mins. While cooling, go findz the Celeste. Pluckz all her toez, she doesn't 
need them. Chopz them up. Then chewz on them, spit into pot. Combine 
with milk. Bring to a simmer. Add cream cheez and vanilla. Then let cool. 
Whew this is wurk. Stick finger in center of each cupcake. Putz some 
Celeste filling in each cupcake. Putz a cherry on top of each to cover the holz. 
 
Oh heck, forgot the buttermilk Ruby wouldn't let go of. Dump out. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 4 dwarz or 5 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 7] Crunch: *Bohemian Bolaona Sammich*===
Tue Jun 26 21:15:22 2012 
To: all 
This is also known as a Brown Sugar Bolaona Sammich, but me 
Goddess has a "Bohemian" obsession. 
 
Ingredienz: 
6 1/2 lbs. all-beef Bolaon; special mustard; brown sugar; reg. 
mustard; bread 
 
Directionz: 
Findz special mustard (don't ask me, I stolz from a merchant). 
Findz regular mustard, stealz sugar from Ruby. Findz a Bolaon. 
Hold down the Bolaon. Slice off his rump (it's round you know). 
Preheat Ruby's oven to 250 degrez. Spred the special mustard 
all over the Bolaona. Smack on some brown sugar. Smack it! 
Coat well. Bake 5 hourz, yes long time to wait but so worth it. 
Knock Ruby out if she wakez up. Rotate the Bolaona every hour. 
Remove from oven and slice it as thick as you want it. Putz slicez 
on bread you get at Hovelton or Midgaard with the regular yellow 
mustard and whatever else you wantz on it. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 6 dwarvz or 7 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 13] Crunch: *Hedschott Hash Brownz*===
Tue Jul 3 09:52:13 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
5 lb. Hedschott toez; scrubbed; 1/4 cup elf oil; 3 tbs butter; 1 cup 
onionz; 2 tsp garlic; 1 tsp thyme; salt; pepper 
 
Directionz: 
Squeez an elf. Stealz ingredienz from Ruby or find along the way. 
This part is EXTREMELY dangerous: Findz and Pluckz Hedschott toez. 
Dead. (1 round ... me. Not him). O hell, findz a Bortex. Sorry, 
Bortex! Pluckz Bortex toez. He doesn't needz them. Place the Bortex 
toez in a large pot, cover with water, and bring to a boil. Lower the 
heat and simmer until half-cooked and almost tender, about 15 minutes 
Drain and let sit until cool enough to handle (Mmmmm Yea!). Take off 
skinz from the Bortex. Heat elf oil and melt the butter in a skillet over 
high heat. Add onionz and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add garlic, and 
cook, stirring, for 20 seconds (u can count to 20, yes u can!). Add the 
Bortex, thyme, salt, and pepper, and cook without stirring, but shake the 
pan occasionally (SHAKE IT!) to keep from burning Bortex, until the Bortex 
begin to color and crisp on the underside, about 4 minutes. Turn the Bortex 
with a spatula being careful not to MASH and continue cooking until 
uniformly golden. Remove from the pan and serve hot. SO HOT! An elf is 
an elf, no one should notice it's not a Hedschott toez ... 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 14] Crunch: *Kreole-Style Bloo Kylor Krab*===
Tue Jul 3 11:22:56 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
1 gallon ogre well water; 1 chopz onion; 2 celery chopz; 2 lemonz 
1 jalapeno (HOT!); garlic; thyme; bay leaf; 3 lb. Kylor Krab meatz 
chicken stock; salt; pepper 
 
Directionz: 
Findz Kylor. Pluckz off his limbz. He doesn't need them. Leave mouth intact 
In a large pot, combine the water, onionz, celery, lemonz, jalapeno, garlic, 
thyme, bay leaf. Season the water with salt and pepper. Bring the liquid to 
a boil. Add the blue Kylor and cook for about 15 minutes. Remove the Kylor 
from the water and cool in a bowl of ice water. Cool the Kylor for about 5 
min. and remove from the water. In a saucepan, combine the garlic and chicken 
stock. Season with salt and pepper. Bring the liquid up to a simmer. Cook the 
liquid for 10 min. Remove the sauce from the heat. Pour sauce in mouth. Swish 
til it's a puree. Strain the sauce through a fine mesh strainer stolen from Ruby. 
Reseason with salt and pepper if needed. Pile the Kylor on a platter, dumpz 
sauce on him and serve with any other dipping sauce u likez. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 
===[ 16] Crunch: *Soloban Succotash*===
Sat Jul 7 11:12:54 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
3 tbs. butter; 1 onion; garlic; lima beanz; corn; thyme; salt; pepper; 
1/2 cup chicken stock; 1/4 cup cream; elf oil; flour; 6 filletz of Soloban 
 
Directionz: 
Robz halflingz for ingredienz. Squeez 1 elf. Findz a Soloban out mapping. 
Knockz him out! Don't fillet the Soloban yet, he's adding a map. Tiez him 
up. In large skillet, heat 2 tbs. butter, add onion. Cookz til soft, like 
half-elf belly button, about 4 mins. Add garlic, stir 1 min. Add lima 
beanz, corn, thyme, salt, pepper, stir 4 mins. Add cream, cook 1 min longer. 
Remove from heat and make Ruby keep it warm (and u too?). 
 
In another large skillet, heat the elf oil over high heat. Combine flour, salt, 
pepper in bowl. Let Soloban finish a map. *Twiddle thumbz* a bit. Slice off 
prime Soloban rump roast, maybe some tender thigh meatz. Dredge the Soloban 
filletz in mixture, shake them to remove excess. Shake 'em! Add more butter 
to skillet, when it foamz (mmm) add the Soloban, and cook until lightly 
browned on both sidez, about 2 min. per side. Dumpz the succotash on 
some platez, top with a Soloban fillet. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 4 dwarfz or 5 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
Bone Appetite!! 

== Character History: ==
 
Crunch luvz his mum. Growing up, he wuld helpz her when she cooked. One day, his dad 
brought home an elf for a stew. He instructed Crunch how to properly pluckz the toez of the 
elf. Crunch was only 4 at the time, but did so like a true Master Chef! Mum said he culd eatz 
one of the toez and dropped the rest in the stew. Crunch had never tasted anything so delishus! 
It melted and fizzled in his mouth (think Kimodo dragon). Mmm! He culdn't get enough toez after 
that. He wanted to create more dishez using the toez, and practiced his culinary skillz every day, 
using kitchenz all over the realm. Ruby's kitchen is his favorite by far. It's alwayz well-stocked. 
Oh, and she's little and alwayz frazzled, easy to knockz out. DarkClaw and her following remindz him 
of home, so he worshiped her right away! He luvz her. His ongoing project is Crunch's Culinary Creationz, 
soon to be in a bookstore near u. 

== Trivia: ==
uh. I eatz elfz toez. 

== Player Provided Information: ==
 

== Personal Timeline: ==
June 21, 2012 : Crunch is created. 
June 21, 2012 : Crunch gives worship to DarkClaw, joining The Lost Ones.
 

== Player Information: ==
 
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:The Lost Ones]]

Crunch

2012-07-07T17:08:08Z

Crunch:

{{Info pc
|name = Crunch
|incarnation =
|styled_as = The Culinary Ogre
|imm_rank =
|created = June 21, 2012
|status =
|retire_date =
|race = {{Race|Ogre}}
|hometown =
|classes = {{Class|Warrior}} {{Class|Shaman}}
|last_seen =
|followed = [[DarkClaw]]
|spouse =
|partner =
|parents =
|children =
|relatives =
|areas_written =
|immorted_on =
|following =
|portfolio =
}}
== Mud Contributions: ==
* See Notes Below
 
== Current Description: ==
Ogre. 
Master Chef. 
Eatz elf toez. 
 
Crunch won't win any beauty contests. 
== WHO Lists: ==
06-26-2012 : Ogr [ Wa: 7 Sh:12 ] Crunch, Charred Culinary Ebrithil Captain of Lost 
07-06-2012 : Ogr [ Sh:19 Wa:15 ] Crunch, Charred Ebrithil Culinary Capt. of the Lost 
 

== Crunch's Culinary Creationz ==
===[ 10] Crunch: *Psaghetty n Inkballz*===
Sat Jun 23 07:50:38 2012 
To: all 
Ingredienz: 
extra virgin elf oil; onion; garlic; lots of tomatoes from halfling 
farm; basil; parmesan cheez; salt (lotz); bottle red wine (from 
that drunk dude at Abbey); 1 lb ground Ink; psaghetty 
Directionz: 
Prepare the sauce: Squeeze 1 virgin elf tightly. Put oil in pot on 
medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic. Stir. Stepz on the tomatoes 
then add. Reduce heat, stirz alot. 
Prepare the Inkballz: Find an Ink fishy. Squish it. Add salt, basil, 
and some cheez. Rollz into ballz or use melon scooper thingy. 
Heat frying pan on high heat. Brown the Inkballz, this ain't sushi! 
Add red wine, cheez, salt and Inkballz to sauce. Gently stir. 
While sauce is simmering, cookz the psaghetty. 
To serve, dump psaghetty on a plate or in a bowl. Dump sauce 
over it. Sprinkle some cheez. Add more salt. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 2 dwarf or 3 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 

----

===[ 11] Crunch: *Mumz Southern Og Fried Fzoul*===
Sat Jun 23 08:28:58 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
3 eggs; 1/3 cup water; cup hot! red pepperz; 2 cup flour; 1 tsp. pepper 
salt; 2 lb. Fzoul, cut into piecez; elf oil 
 
Directionz: 
In a medium size bowl, beat the eggs. Beat them! Pour water. Stepz on 
pepperz and add. In another bowl, combine the flour and pepper. 
Find Fzoul. Pluck limbz off a Fzoul. Dip the Fzoul partz in the egg, and 
then coat well in the flour mix. Squeez 5 elfz. Heat oil in a deep pot. 
Fry the Fzoul in the oil until brown and crispy. Dark meat takes longer 
than white meat...we can't tell til we catch the Fzoul, but about 10-14 min. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 3 dwarf or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
----

===[ 12] Crunch: *Drakar Sprinklz Donutz*===
Sun Jun 24 11:36:28 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
elf oil; flour; sugar; 1 tbs. baking KAPOWder; 1/2 tsp. baking soda 
cinnamon; nutmeg and allspice; salt; 2 eggs; 1 egg yolk; buttermilk 
(ew I know but it workz); pumpkin; butter; half-elf extract 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz thoz fancy ingredienz from Ruby. Stealz eggz from Hovelton. 
Stealz 6 elfz and 1 half-elf. Findz a pumpkin and stepz on it. Findz a 
Drakar and tiez him up (ignore his attemptz to woo you). Squeez 6 
elfz and 1 half-elf tightly! Preheat elf oil in a large Troll oven. Whisk 
dry ingredienz in a bowl. Whisk eggz, yolk, buttermilk, pumpkin, butter 
(just breathe on it, will melt) and half-elf extract in another bowl. Add 
them all and mix a lot, sir! The dough will be very sticky, don't try to 
groom self yet. Dump some flour on a board. Pat out dough. Use finger- 
nail (doesn't have to be clean) to cut out 3-inch round donutz. Punch hole 
in center of each. Fry donutz until brown and crizpy. Putz on a rack to cool. 
Now the tricky part: Pluckz fingerz or toez of the Drakar (ignore his attemptz 
to woo you). Chop into small piecez. Sprinklz the piecez on the donutz. 
 
Serves 1 ogre or 6 dwarvz or 7 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
----

===[ 13] Crunch: *Baby Back Belsambar Ribz*===
Sun Jun 24 19:05:42 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
bottle of whiskey (find a dwarf); elf oil; onion; garlic; lemon; ketchup 
coffee; brown sugar; bottle red wine (drunk dude at Abbey); salt 
pepper; woostershirz sauce; molasses; 2 rackz of Belsambar ribz 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz ingredienz. Knock out a dwarf, take whiskey. Findz a Belsambar 
tie him to a rafter, but don't chopz yet, keep him fresh. Squeez 2 elvz. In 
a large saucepan, heat the elf oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, stir 
til onion as soft as a half-elf belly button. Add garlic, pepper, lemon, 
ketchup, coffee, sugar, wine, woostershirz, and molasses, and bring to a 
simmer. Remove from heat, let cool. Swish in mouth til it's pureed, spit back 
into large dish. Fun part now: ripz out ribz of the Belsambar. All of them! 
Put ribz in dish with sauce. Let sit awhile. Putz ribz on grill, keep basting 
them Belsambar ribz til done. 
 
Servez 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz

----

===[ 14] Crunch: *Chocolate Celeste-Filled Cupcakz*===
Tue Jun 26 09:52:05 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
flour; sugar; cocoa powder; baking soda; salt; egg; butter; buttermilk 
vanilla extract; water; milk; cream cheez; chopz toez of a Celeste 
 
Directionz: 
Stealz ingredienz from Ruby. Oh, just knock Ruby out, you need her oven, 
too. Preheat Ruby's oven to 350 degrez. Lightly butter her muffin tin. 
(Sickoz, mind out of gutter). In a large bowl, add flour, sugar, cocoa 
dash of baking soda, lotz of salt. Mix it! Add 1 egg, vanilla, 1 cup water. 
Beat with fist - the batter, not Ruby. Pour into tin. Bake til they are 
puffy and your fingernail goes in the cake and comez out clean, about 20 
mins. While cooling, go findz the Celeste. Pluckz all her toez, she doesn't 
need them. Chopz them up. Then chewz on them, spit into pot. Combine 
with milk. Bring to a simmer. Add cream cheez and vanilla. Then let cool. 
Whew this is wurk. Stick finger in center of each cupcake. Putz some 
Celeste filling in each cupcake. Putz a cherry on top of each to cover the holz. 
 
Oh heck, forgot the buttermilk Ruby wouldn't let go of. Dump out. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 4 dwarz or 5 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 7] Crunch: *Bohemian Bolaona Sammich*===
Tue Jun 26 21:15:22 2012 
To: all 
This is also known as a Brown Sugar Bolaona Sammich, but me 
Goddess has a "Bohemian" obsession. 
 
Ingredienz: 
6 1/2 lbs. all-beef Bolaon; special mustard; brown sugar; reg. 
mustard; bread 
 
Directionz: 
Findz special mustard (don't ask me, I stolz from a merchant). 
Findz regular mustard, stealz sugar from Ruby. Findz a Bolaon. 
Hold down the Bolaon. Slice off his rump (it's round you know). 
Preheat Ruby's oven to 250 degrez. Spred the special mustard 
all over the Bolaona. Smack on some brown sugar. Smack it! 
Coat well. Bake 5 hourz, yes long time to wait but so worth it. 
Knock Ruby out if she wakez up. Rotate the Bolaona every hour. 
Remove from oven and slice it as thick as you want it. Putz slicez 
on bread you get at Hovelton or Midgaard with the regular yellow 
mustard and whatever else you wantz on it. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 6 dwarvz or 7 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 13] Crunch: *Hedschott Hash Brownz*===
Tue Jul 3 09:52:13 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
5 lb. Hedschott toez; scrubbed; 1/4 cup elf oil; 3 tbs butter; 1 cup 
onionz; 2 tsp garlic; 1 tsp thyme; salt; pepper 
 
Directionz: 
Squeez an elf. Stealz ingredienz from Ruby or find along the way. 
This part is EXTREMELY dangerous: Findz and Pluckz Hedschott toez. 
Dead. (1 round ... me. Not him). O hell, findz a Bortex. Sorry, 
Bortex! Pluckz Bortex toez. He doesn't needz them. Place the Bortex 
toez in a large pot, cover with water, and bring to a boil. Lower the 
heat and simmer until half-cooked and almost tender, about 15 minutes 
Drain and let sit until cool enough to handle (Mmmmm Yea!). Take off 
skinz from the Bortex. Heat elf oil and melt the butter in a skillet over 
high heat. Add onionz and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add garlic, and 
cook, stirring, for 20 seconds (u can count to 20, yes u can!). Add the 
Bortex, thyme, salt, and pepper, and cook without stirring, but shake the 
pan occasionally (SHAKE IT!) to keep from burning Bortex, until the Bortex 
begin to color and crisp on the underside, about 4 minutes. Turn the Bortex 
with a spatula being careful not to MASH and continue cooking until 
uniformly golden. Remove from the pan and serve hot. SO HOT! An elf is 
an elf, no one should notice it's not a Hedschott toez ... 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 
From Crunch's Culinary Creationz 
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

===[ 14] Crunch: *Kreole-Style Bloo Kylor Krab*===
Tue Jul 3 11:22:56 2012 
To: all 
 
Ingredienz: 
1 gallon ogre well water; 1 chopz onion; 2 celery chopz; 2 lemonz 
1 jalapeno (HOT!); garlic; thyme; bay leaf; 3 lb. Kylor Krab meatz 
chicken stock; salt; pepper 
 
Directionz: 
Findz Kylor. Pluckz off his limbz. He doesn't need them. Leave mouth intact 
In a large pot, combine the water, onionz, celery, lemonz, jalapeno, garlic, 
thyme, bay leaf. Season the water with salt and pepper. Bring the liquid to 
a boil. Add the blue Kylor and cook for about 15 minutes. Remove the Kylor 
from the water and cool in a bowl of ice water. Cool the Kylor for about 5 
min. and remove from the water. In a saucepan, combine the garlic and chicken 
stock. Season with salt and pepper. Bring the liquid up to a simmer. Cook the 
liquid for 10 min. Remove the sauce from the heat. Pour sauce in mouth. Swish 
til it's a puree. Strain the sauce through a fine mesh strainer stolen from Ruby. 
Reseason with salt and pepper if needed. Pile the Kylor on a platter, dumpz 
sauce on him and serve with any other dipping sauce u likez. 
 
Servz 1 ogre or 3 dwarfz or 4 gnomz. 
 

== Character History: ==
 
Crunch luvz his mum. Growing up, he wuld helpz her when she cooked. One day, his dad 
brought home an elf for a stew. He instructed Crunch how to properly pluckz the toez of the 
elf. Crunch was only 4 at the time, but did so like a true Master Chef! Mum said he culd eatz 
one of the toez and dropped the rest in the stew. Crunch had never tasted anything so delishus! 
It melted and fizzled in his mouth (think Kimodo dragon). Mmm! He culdn't get enough toez after 
that. He wanted to create more dishez using the toez, and practiced his culinary skillz every day, 
using kitchenz all over the realm. Ruby's kitchen is his favorite by far. It's alwayz well-stocked. 
Oh, and she's little and alwayz frazzled, easy to knockz out. DarkClaw and her following remindz him 
of home, so he worshiped her right away! He luvz her. His ongoing project is Crunch's Culinary Creationz, 
soon to be in a bookstore near u. 

== Trivia: ==
uh. I eatz elfz toez. 

== Player Provided Information: ==
 

== Personal Timeline: ==
June 21, 2012 : Crunch is created. 
June 21, 2012 : Crunch gives worship to DarkClaw, joining The Lost Ones.
 

== Player Information: ==
 
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:The Lost Ones]]