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Flashbacks to before I met my love.

Inner Turmoil

There it is -- that vivid rememberance
That that brings with it a semblance
Of sadness and sorrow
Of pain and death and dread of the 'morrow
The sensational joy of happiness and love
Ripped from my chest in mid-pulse
To be felt nevermore, dooming me to live as I have
As if nothing has significance
Any and every accomplishment blase
Of my own choice I do not even try
For that which might temporarily replace my sadness
With a false sense of contentment
That which steals me from my blight but for a moment
To lose its strength before it has rescued me
To bring even that much more hurt
When I notice what I've missed

Then it sets in -- that bleak shadow
That which makes me leak tears
My eyes precipitate hope and dreams
I cry alone and close myself off from the world
Despair runs through my veins
Soaking into my bones, making me shiver
Swallowed by darkness, which has become my only friend
To whom I turn every night
It cannot dissappoint me
Because I expect nothing of it but a cushion
From life and loss and pain and suffering
It is my lifeline in an ironic way
It fills the hallow in my chest
And anyday I do my best, I feel some slip from me
I fear what I'd become when it goes
I fear being alone and exposed.

_________________
Vex Ironwolf,
Inquisitor of the Ashen Moon.

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