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(located at mud.finalchallenge.net port 4000)

'If I should meet the Conclave'

(sung to the tune of "If I were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof
Adapted from a SCA Filk song written by Lady Dominique D'Avigne'.)

The Goddess of Fate smiles as you enter Nevyn's campsite, and plucks up a gittern at her side. "Welcome. I was just teaching Nevyn a new song.." Her sapphire eyes twinkle merrily, and Her expression is entirely mischievous. Once you seat yourself, she begins singing...
"If I should meet a Conclave,
I should turn and run,
but not from fear..
but from a sense of smell..."

(one of Cordir' delicate, pale hands wafts gently back and forth beneath Her nose.)

"All day long
they run around in leather...
but do they ever bathe?
Never!"

(Her hands reach up in a questioning gesture, then slice horizontally, in negation.)

"Conclaves think they're real strong...

(She raises one arm, a bicep flexed)

"and they are....
but not in quite the way
that they want us to think..."

(a sinuous waving of Her hand beneath Her nose yet again.)

"All day long, they drink,
they curse, they swear...."

(She mimes lifting a mug to Her lips, then a slight pause...)

"But will they change
their underwear?

(She arches one brow questioningly, then emphatically cries out the answer)

"NO!"
"So what to do with Conclaves...
Some say hanging's much too good
for such a filthy lot as they..."

(Her voice drops into a suggestive whisper)

"I suggest.... " (a pause)

"That you forget the rope... (a mischievous arching of one brow)
"And simply get....
"A bar....
"Of.....
"SOAP!!!!
She grins, dips a quick curtsey, and hands Nevyn back his gittern.

Cordir raises her hand in a graceful gesture of summoning.
A glimmering light appears, and expands into a shining web-like Pattern.
Cordir steps through the Pattern Web, disappearing from the chamber.

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