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Things TFC Needs

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Old-Subject: Things TFC Needs
Date: Mon, 2 Dec 1996 19:59:47 -0800
X-Mailing-List: < archive/latest/1108
1. More people to role play like we do. Because gee, it sure gets confusing when we all have our own perceptions and not everyone conforms to it, doesn't it?
2. Flame-proof bags. Because gee, Ladislaw makes Kevlar in his spare time.
3. Fool Proof Recalls. What fun is it to play in a game with risk?
4. More dumb people so us reelie smert folx hoo agrie with me kan taek addvantage of them.
5. More whiners. Because it adds such spice to the game.
6. A Book entitled 'How to be Good and How to Be Evil' by a really objective player. Namely, myself.
7. More dumb people.
8. More whiners.
9. More dumb people who whine.
10. More whiners who are dumb.
11. A few more characters named 'IncrediblyDarling' or 'ExtremelyCute', because she sure is darling... and cute.
12. Roleplayers who oh-so-effectively role play by accusing their killers of not role playing and ruining the game for those who do.
13. People who think I am being cynical when really, I am so dead serious.
For those of you who are offended by sarcasm, please allow me to apologize and assure you, I am not trying to be sarcastic.
I read this mailing list regularly. As with many things, I like to know the current happenings without always making my voice readily clarion. When I do, usually it's because I am tired and am sleep deprived.
On other rare occassions, I think you might be interested in what I have to say.
1. First, on the matter of role playing which died several threads ago and to many of your eternal hatred for me, I am bringing up again. I am always most impressed with those role players who do it so well that they know when I am doing it wrong. I almost always humbly bow to their expertise and listen to them. So I really encourage them to continue telling others when they are role playing wrong. If we all listened to them, we would get really really good at it.
2. Flame proof bags. There are flame proof bags in RL and D&D, so why not on TFC? We need them. It's that simple. How else are we ever going to hoarde all those limiteds and randoms without cheating?? I suggest we have iron-wood chests. Or maybe a spell called 'Flame-Proofer'. It would be so useful. I know it's not realistic, but it's a game after all, isn't it?
It doesn't have to be realistic.
3. We should have another spell. Sentence of Recall. If the word fails, usually (on this whole realism thing) it's because of minor inflections in the caster's voice. The potions fail because the wizard in MG sneezed in it while he was brewing it. (Meyr and the wizard in Half-Elf all buy from the MG wizard.) But... if the spell was 'Sentence of Recall' then the ... uh... magical-hearer who changes words into magic would KNOW we meant Sentence of Recall, because there is more for him to not-misunderstand.
Excuse me for this long drawn out explanation, but we have to keep this realistic. Anyway, see, Sentence of Recall would never fail, and also, we should be able to cast it when we have no mana as long as we have... hmmm, ... something... uh... wood in our possession to... "draw" the mana from. Yeah, that's good. And also, we need a 'Wimpy-Recall' setting so that the recall will kick in before we are dead and save us without fear of a bad recall, which just sucks. See? Then no one would ever die. We would all be happy. It would be so *fun*.
4. Actually, I can't think of any dumb people on TFC. We are all brilliant geniusses, and because of that, I'm sure you will all agree with me.
5. I never whine. I just point out the obvious. Evil is too weak compared to good. They outnumber us a bazillion to one. We should force people to play evil if they are good and "play it wrong" according to the role-play pro that keeps telling me how it should be played. Also, rangers are too tough, ogres are too weak, quiet is too strong. Mages should be able to hurt more. Level 50s shouldn't be able to kill me even though I'm only level 20+ because I should have a fair chance to get to 50+ too. By the way, between 6am and 6:30am every other tuesday of the month I notice that my mana regens slower if it happens to be during the Month of Ancient Darkness. Fix that, Imps. Please, it's annoying. Also, warrics are too weak. I am level 15/15 and a level 30 cleric killed me. 15+15 = 30. I should be able to kill him. This game is so unbalanced.
6. Oh yeah, I am working on a book on how to play your alignment properly. It contains simple rules like all goods must bare the other cheek when they get killed and all evils have to stomp on daisies and buy pets every level just to kill them. Neutrals should do nothing except follow Nevyn around and tell him what a great singer he is.
7. No really, there are no dumb people on TFC.
8. Did I mention that I walked repeatedly into a no-exit room and have to cast word of recall (until sentence of recall is implemented) and therefore run the risk of a bad one. Can you either make all recalls safe or move the House of Pancakes somewhere I won't keep walking into it? Cause the game is messed up the way it is. Fix it please.
9. I haven't ever met a whiner OR a dumb person on TFC. We need more. To balance the game so we smart people can properly take advantage of them and laugh at them when they whine.

10. Yesterday a neutral killed me. They aren't SUPPOSED TO. That is so unfair! How come they get to be good AND evil, and I was being nice too! If you guys dont make them be nice, you will have a really bad role playing environment. I told him so too and he killed me again. I want to report him for multi-killing me when I did absolutely nothing to him. Otherwise I
will quit. I will. I swear.
11. I ran into IncrediblyDarling the other day. We all need names that tell us exactly what to expect when we deal with each other. That way, it would be easier for us to know how to role play and things like that. I'm going to roll a character named 'BestDamnRolePlayer' and 'IAmNotAMoron' so that just by looking at me, you can tell that I am a classy and competant
12. A killer killed me yesteray. He did not even tell me in advance so I knew how to role play when he killed me. Instead, because of his lack of preparation, I just cussed at him and called him a fool and told him he was ruining it for honest role players like me. Then I told his God on him and His god told me, 'He *is* role playing. You play the role of victim. He plays the role of murderer'. Then this god disappeared because he knew that I was right. If I ever see that god again, I will tell him how to role play properly so he doesn't mislead his poor misled followers anymore.
13. Don't think I'm kidding. TFC needs all these otherwise I will quit. I will quit and not come back. And if I do come back after months and am shocked that the pity is not abundant, then I will quit again. And I will continue to quit until you pity me and TFC gets all these things. Don't make me quit. I will. I swear.
Khore, irritated and sleep deprived Lord of the Kindred.
P.S. Off the subject of TFC, Another thing the world needs in general is people who realize what wonderful writing this is and quote the entire thing so they can append at the bottom 'Khore, that was really something else.' Because after all, who on this mailing list after reading this nice long lengthy letter DOESN'T want to read it again so that someone can append that profound addendum? I wish everyone could be more like those nice people from America Online.

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