(Un)Life Lessons

March 2, 2000: Log contains Cirth, Dalmiera, Elladan, Palmer.
Cirth tells Dalmiera, 'Shall we meet at the Lady's temple?'

Elladan grins neutrally.

Dalmiera tells Cirth, '*smiles* I am there now in fact, sir.'

Cirth tells Dalmiera, 'Then I will be joining you shortly.'

Cirth arrives from the north. Cirth bows deeply.

Dalmiera tells Cirth, '*soft smile of thanks*.'

Cirth says, 'Greetings Elladan.'

Elladan bows gallantly and says, 'greetings, Cirth.'

Cirth says, 'Greetings Dalmiera.'

Dalmiera smiles brightly, curtseying before Cirth.

Cirth says, 'Cynical Elladan?'
Cirth looks at Elladan.

Dalmiera says, 'Hello again Sir.'

Elladan nods.

Cirth looks at Dalmiera.

Dalmiera says, 'How are you this day, Sir?'

Cirth says, 'I am fairly well thank you. And you?'

Dalmiera says, 'I am doing very wonderful today, actually. I almost feel giddy.'

Cirth smiles slightly.

Dalmiera giggles.

Cirth says, 'Wonderful?'

Dalmiera smiles warmly, with an emphatic nod.

Elladan says, 'well? spill it, young lady!'

Cirth snickers with Elladan about their shared secret.

Elladan taps his foot impatiently.

Cirth ponders the word giddy... don't think he's ever used it.

Dalmiera says, 'I just feel wonderful Sir...I awoke this day with a sense of wonderment, and peace, that I have not felt in a very long time.'

Cirth nods and says, 'I see.'

Elladan says, 'that's very good indeed.'

Cirth says, 'Let's hope Elladan and I don't cloud it for you.'

Elladan says, 'I would never.'

Dalmiera shakes her head slightly.

Dalmiera says, 'I look forward very much to speaking with you today, Sir.. I think that is part of the reason for my joyful attitude.'

Elladan says, 'She's talking about you, Cirth :).'

Cirth says, 'very well. I look forward to it as well.'
Cirth says, 'Really?'

Dalmiera giggles.

Cirth raises an eyebrow at Elladan. 'Only good things I hope.' He smiles wryly.

Dalmiera finds a comfortable spot on the floor and sits down, crossing her legs before her and looking up at Cirth.

Elladan says, 'No one is ever really pleased or looking forward to speaking to me.' He sulks in the corner.

Cirth comforts Elladan.

Dalmiera says, 'At your convenience, Sir, I am more than ready to speak.'

Cirth says, 'Then let us begin.'

Elladan says, 'I'll leave you two alone then.' He bows gallantly and leaves north.

Cirth says, 'You ask me of the Thirst.'

Dalmiera nods slowly, intently listening.

Dalmiera says, 'Why do we have it, Sir? Why does our own blood not sustain us?'

Cirth says, 'Realize that I speak only of my own experience and that my words are simply my truth, or perception of the truth.' Cirth nods.

Dalmiera nods slightly, saying, 'I understand Sir.'

Cirth says, 'Why does the vampire need to consume blood in order to exist?'

Dalmiera nods slowly, a hungry look in her eyes, a hunger of knowledge.

Cirth says, 'My body does not live. When Khore Embraced me he drained life out of me.'

Dalmiera says, 'But...the spark still had to exist, did it not? Not even an Immortal can return one from the Long Sleep.'

Cirth says, 'But he did not leave me to die, but filled me with the powerful blood of his so that I could cling to my body and keep it to function. I am not sure. Surely only the immortals can answer that. But I does not think of myself as dead. It's merely my body that are undead.'

Dalmiera ponders this for a moment.

Cirth finds a ledge to lean towards.
Cirth rests.

Dalmiera says, 'If a body is undead though..is it not...alive?'

Cirth says, 'Correct. At least not mine. I am not sure about yours, if you're life has been brought out of your body. But we will come back to that. In order to keep my body functional, to heal it's wounds, to wake up each evening, I must consume blood.'

Dalmiera nods as she listens, mentally making notes.

Cirth says, 'and without my body there would be little to bind me to this realm and I would, as all but the mightiest of us, be swept away into Oblivion. So what is the Thirst?'

Dalmiera says, 'So...what we are...is merely a spirit kept in a vessel that must be replenished...is that what you mean?'

Cirth sits down and thinks deeply. He says, 'Yes, that is how I see it. But I am as bound to my vessel as any mortal.'

Dalmiera nods thoughtfully.

Cirth says, 'But through the power of the Blood my vessel does not age and wither like a mortal vessel.'

Dalmiera blinks in surprise. She says, 'You do not age? How is that possible?'

Cirth looks at you, only his eyes telling of his true age.

Cirth says, 'The Blood strengthens me and lessens time's demands on my body.'

Dalmiera says, 'How?'

Cirth says, 'Blood is very powerful.'

Dalmiera says, 'But...'
Dalmiera sits down and thinks deeply for a moment.

Cirth says, 'Even mortals are driven by Blood, although they themselves create it to sustain themselves.'

Dalmiera says, 'If blood prevents us from aging, why does it not prevent Them from aging?'

Cirth says, 'Khore's Embrace emptied my vessel of my blood and life and it did not return. The mortal body is from both the inside and the outside trials of time. The body itself filled with mechanisms bound to nature.'

Dalmiera says, 'And our bodies? What are we bound to?'

Cirth says, 'It works it's way towards it's natural cycle and withers along the way. I should say that even if we're not bound to Nature, we're not an abomination outside the order of the creation. In my opinion there is no such thing. Everything has it's place, as do we. Thus we're bound to the Pattern Web, and to the Blood.'

Dalmiera says, 'So...' She ponders her words a moment. 'Those not as we...are bound to nature...and we are...bound to the fates?'

Cirth sits down and thinks deeply. He says, 'All things are bound to the Fates.' He tilts his head, thinking. 'I cannot say if vampires are more closely bound to Fate than mortals, that is beyond my sight.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, 'Perhaps you should ask the Lady that.'

Dalmiera says, 'What would be your thought on the matter though? You have been as you are for far longer than I...'

Cirth smiles slightly, and says, 'Vampires are by their very nature, quite orderly beings.'

Dalmiera giggles, wondering why then is she so messy.
Dalmiera answers her own question.
Dalmiera says, 'Because I am not a true vampire....right?'

Cirth says, 'We use the blood to sustain the form which Wyrm carved us, so that we may stay within the Pattern of the Realm. I am not certain. I have never met someone not a true vampire.' He raises an eyebrow at Dalmiera. 'Yet you... seem like you might be an exception.'

Dalmiera looks up at him seriously. 'I am a child of two worlds aren't I, Sir?' she asks. 'Mortal and Vampire.'

Cirth says, 'I that may very well be so. You have not yet consumed the blood of others?'

Dalmiera says, 'I have partaken from Deamhan, he gave me my first taste from another.'

Cirth nods slowly.

Dalmiera says, 'Gregar also offered me a taste, though indirectly and one other has given me a great honor by allowing me to partake.'

Cirth says, 'I have never met anyone with both living heart and veins, and the Thirst.' He pauses and thinks deeply. 'To conclude on vampires and fate... I think vampires may be stronger bound since they are less subject to change than mortals are.'

Dalmiera says, 'I wish I knew more about how this could be.. Those not vampire are scared of me, and those who are, do not understand how I can exist.'

Cirth comforts her. He says, 'As I said earlier, it is my absolute faith that every creation has it's place within the Pattern Web. You said that you had felt the urge of the Thirst?'

Dalmiera says, 'How are we less subject to change, sir, when by our very nature we must change to survive..?' She nods slowly at his question. 'Yes, since my 13th year I have battled the Thirst.'

The vampire nods. 'We change of course greatly at the Embrace, and in the youth of every vampire there is many things to adapt to.'

Dalmiera says, 'I understand that, Sir, and it makes sense, but even seasoned vampires must change to live, must they not?'

Cirth says, 'But after the Embrace little happens to our shapes, and as with everything that gets old it finds it hard to change and accommodate new ways. And vampires get very old.'

Dalmiera ponders how to explain what she means. She says, 'But.. change is what we are, Sir.. aren't we? Both as a giver of change and a receiver of same..?'

Cirth says, 'Hmm, I have never thought of it that way.'

Dalmiera says, 'A mortal, for example, can live their life doing the same thing every day...'

Cirth nods.

Dalmiera says, 'They rise, they can eat the same foods, go to the same places, talk to the same people. We rise, and cannot have the same "food" every day, do not often speak to the same people, and always must go to new places to avoid those who would kill us. We bring the change to a Mortal, by feeding from them, thus altering their life forever.. and are the recipients of change, because we cannot do the same things all the time. Would that not be so?'

Cirth sits down and thinks deeply. He says, 'What you say is true, but...we too develop patterns, perhaps wider ones, but in the end possibly more rigid. I have changed little and slowly the last thousand years.'

Dalmiera nods slowly, going back to listening.

Cirth says, 'Changed little of my behaviors and mindsets.'

Dalmiera says, 'Does that not become.. dull.. sir? How do you avoid stagnation?'

Cirth says, 'That has long been my personal demon. Within Khore's Kindred I was the keeper of the strength, perseverance, and the weakness, jadedness. Close they were together. And still are. Other kindred are not subject to the same degree of perseverance nor jadedness. But I think that anyone existing as long does eventually go through periods of jadedness.'

Dalmiera says, 'How were we created Sir, do you know? What made us what we are, and how is it possible for you to pass the gift to another?'

Cirth snickers softly at her many questions. 'Let's see.'

Dalmiera blushes softly, saying, 'I'm sorry… I have a curious mind, I suppose...'

Cirth says, 'I am not sure of the origin of the Kindred, but I do know that we are the descendants of the people in the sacred land of Sanguinna and of the sacred Darkness. No need to excuse yourself. An open mind is a good thing, and there are many things you have the right to know by birthright.'

Dalmiera listens, nodding intently.

Cirth says, 'I have not thought of this story in eons and thus I must confess it is less than clear to me now. But I know that my Lord Khore comes from Sanguinna.' He sits down and thinks deeply. 'I fear that I will mis-tell this tale if i don't refresh my memory.'

Dalmiera says, 'Was he the First of us?'

Cirth shakes his head. 'I do not believe that he was the first. There are others before him. Vlad, Dracul and Lestat.' He knits his brows, thinking. 'Vlad was the father of the land and Ybarra, his wife.'

Dalmiera says, 'I see..is it known who was the very first, and how they were turned?'

Cirth says, 'I think they may have been the first. But I don't think they were bound to blood as we are. I know that when Ybarra expected her first child, Chaos, the Wyld, tainted it.'

Dalmiera says, 'I take it that the true origin of our kind is a bit shrouded in mystery...'

Cirth says, 'and I think it changed the child so that it were bound to blood.'
Cirth snickers softly.

Dalmiera says, 'Why did The Wyld choose them I wonder...'

Cirth says, 'I'm sorry. I wish I could tell this story better. I shall try refresh my memory. They were the keepers of the Darkness, the pure Darkness. Wyld wanted chaos and change where there was none. When you are older I can show you to Sanguianna. Perhaps the tale is to be found there. Let's go back to the nature of the Thirst before I fill you mind with half-truths and lies about our origin.'

Dalmiera giggles, saying, 'Yes, sir..'

Cirth says, 'The Thirst is your body's way of telling you it needs blood.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, 'If you are starved or badly hurt the Thirst urge will be stronger since you'll need the blood to recover. Over time though, the Thirst will rise in strength.'

Dalmiera nods, her eyes reflecting the notes she is taking.

Cirth smiles slightly.
Cirth says, 'Blood is, as I've already pointed out, very powerful.'

Dalmiera nods.

Cirth says, 'and upon consuming it the body as well as the mind are filled with great and pleasant emotions.'

Dalmiera says, 'So I have seen.. in the times I have fed the Thirst, it is an unbelievable feeling.'

Cirth says, 'Which sometimes are possible to share with the Giver.'
Cirth smiles.
Cirth nods.

Dalmiera says, 'Oh..? How does one do that?'

Cirth says, 'I am not certain. I think it might be dependant on the intimacy between the Giver and the Taker.'

Dalmiera says, 'I see...'

Cirth says, 'The blood does both the body and soul good, strengthening them. They recognize this and want more.'

Dalmiera looks up at you with a sudden thought.

Cirth says, 'Why should not my being be the strongest it can be? Why should I not allow it this emotional ecstasy?'

Dalmiera says, 'Sir...are we...drug addicts? Because it almost sounds like we are.'

Cirth says, 'That is a very good description. The effects of the mortal drugs are much the same to what we are subjects to. But it is important that we learn to control it.'

Dalmiera says, 'How do you control it?'

Cirth says, 'Unlike the mortals, we do not have to choice to stop consuming our drug, lest we undo ourselves. It is possible not to confront your Thirst. To slowly consume more and more to avoid the conflict that arises when you deny it.'

Dalmiera says, 'I have been able to fend off The Thirst in recent months, but it is very quickly becoming a consuming fire within me again.'

Cirth nods and says, 'and it will continue to grow.'

Dalmiera says, 'Is it possible to not confront it… how?'

Cirth says, 'It's only possible for so long... you can gradually give in, little by little, consuming a little more each time to please your Thirst. But eventually you will reach your limit for what you think is acceptable, or you will find yourself in a difficult situation, badly hurt or starved.'

Dalmiera says, 'So it's just willpower that binds it?'

Cirth says, 'Yes, at least in my case. I have found no other cure.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, 'My advice is to choose your own battleground, instead of waiting the Thirst out, letting it grow strong, or catching you of guard. Begin now. Every time you feel the urge. Wait. Hold back. You choose when to feed and not to.'

Dalmiera has been holding back for several weeks now.

Cirth says, 'And that is good. But eventually you must feed.'

Dalmiera says, 'The pounding in my head is quickly becoming almost unbearable.'

Cirth comforts her.

Dalmiera smiles up at Cirth gratefully.

He says, 'Eventually though, you will want to be sure of your Will power against the Thirst. Who can you trust if you cannot trust yourself?'

Dalmiera nods slowly, her eyes reflecting understanding.

'Then you will choose a place where you can confront your thirst and deny it. Deny it until you are at the brink of insanity and death,' he warns.

The girl shudders softly.

Cirth says, 'Either you will give in, because your will is not ready to withstand. Or you will decide to feed, but only as much as to survive no more. If you manage that you will find it much easier to control you Thirst because you have walked to the brink of Oblivion and returned, not running like an animal, but walking tall and proud. There is however no battle that ends permanently, and any opponent always has the chance to outmaneuver the other. But after the test you will be confident within yourself that you have will be ready, for every battle that will come.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

The spider-web closes.

Palmer yells, 'knock knock.'

Cirth opens the spider-web.

Cirth yells, 'Come right in, or stand back.'

Palmer yells, 'yer supposed to say 'who's there?'.'

Cirth yells, 'Oh, sorry.'

Dalmiera says, 'So..the battle is never ending, but can be taken to the utter brink of death...for a final showdown of who is truly the master..'

Cirth yells, 'I am educating a young vampire in here Palmer.'
Cirth nods.

Palmer yells, 'can i help? :].'

Dalmiera says, 'When you are at that brink...how do you know you have won if death is but a stone's throw away?'

Cirth yells, '*snickers* I am certain that you would provide a very different point of view to being a vampire than I Palmer.'

Cirth says, 'Palmer too is a vampire.'

Dalmiera says, 'I see...'

Palmer yells, 'i wont say anything bad.'

Dalmiera says, 'I welcome all opinions, if you do not mind.'

Cirth nods, saying, 'I advise you to seek out as many point of views as you can.'

Dalmiera nods, smiling softly.

Cirth yells, 'You should seek her out and tell her of your experiences some day Palmer.'

Dalmiera says, 'Is he going to join us, Sir?'

Cirth says, 'he cannot since his aura prevent him from entering this temple.'

Palmer yells, 'she kinda young to hear about mine.'

Cirth says, 'Nor would I like him to interfere until I've told all I have to say. '

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, ' How do you know when you've succeed? You will feel when you are becoming unbound and if you then manage to feed without frenzy you have won.'

Dalmiera says, 'Please let him know I welcome the opportunity to speak with him, and that I would gladly do so when it is convenient for him.'

Cirth says, 'I will tell him. I have but one lesson left.'

Dalmiera nods, smiling brightly, absorbing all you speak.

Cirth says, 'That which concerns the act of feeding.'

Dalmiera says, 'Ok...'

Cirth says, 'Is it evil or shameful to consume blood? Certainly can it not be.'

Dalmiera listens intently.

Cirth says, 'As I said before no creature is evil or shameful by it's very existence. Every creature makes it's own destiny. Also good or evil is of little matter, as they simply are different ways to set goals and to achieve them. Instead we should speak of honor.'

Dalmiera says, 'So I should not feel evil because I feed, but if those reasons are not proper, then it should be that I feel that way?'

Cirth says, 'Is it dishonorable to consume blood freely given?'

Dalmiera blushes at this question.

Cirth says, 'It is your very nature to consume blood, otherwise you perish. Thus you must. Is it honorable to kill someone else in order to feed?
There are many different opinions on this. Perhaps it is honorable to hunt a worthy opponent and if you succeed take your price in blood. But my opinion is that though it is not dishonorable to take what you must to survive… there is no honor in taking more than you crave.'

Dalmiera whispers 'have you...killed...sir?

Cirth says, 'I have killed animals and enemies, but never myself attacked another person.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, 'Now however I am of the opinion that it is dishonorable to cut someone else's thread to lengthen your own.'

Dalmiera says, 'I agree...I have no desire to kill anyone.'

Cirth says, 'Every creation has the same right to existence and to growth. I shall not reduce some else possibilities to further my own. Lastly there are many ways to sustain yourself.'

Dalmiera nods slowly, her estimation of you growing even more.

Cirth says, 'without killing or causing harm.' He smiles slightly.

Dalmiera must depart in 10 minutes..
Dalmiera blushes.

Cirth says, 'If you can withstand the Thirst, and control it, you can feed without killing.'

Cirth must depart soon as well.

Dalmiera says, 'From animals?'

Cirth says, 'Animals are preferable if you cannot find a willing Giver.'

Dalmiera nods.

Cirth says, 'animals are in many cases not as strong givers, but will suffice.'

Dalmiera says, 'I am bound, even now, to only partake from willing members of The Chosen.. it was a Geas I bound myself to even though I do not belong as of yet.'

Cirth says, 'Also there is a possibility to survive on very bloody steaks, but I am not sure how long that would keep you going.'

Dalmiera shivers sharply at the thought. She says, 'I.. cannot... eat steaks, sir..'

Cirth says, 'A worthy geas indeed.'

Dalmiera says, 'It is a long tale as to why, but the very thought of eating a steak repulses me.'

Cirth nods. 'You should tell it to me sometime.'

Dalmiera says, 'I shall.. or perhaps Milady will post it.. as I related why a short time ago to her.. it is related to why I am so terrified of dragons.'

Cirth says, 'Interesting.'

Dalmiera says, 'What are other methods to keep the Thirst at bay?'

Cirth says, 'Apart from the Will, and feeding from animals or free Givers without killing. I know none.'

Dalmiera nods slowly.

Cirth says, 'Dalmiera, I must leave.'

Dalmiera curls to her feet like a cat.

Cirth stands up.

Dalmiera says, 'Sir...I thank you...'

Cirth smiles.

Dalmiera says, 'What you have given me..is invaluable.'

Cirth bows deeply and says, 'My pleasure.'

Dalmiera says, 'I shall always be grateful to you.'

Cirth says, 'You have taught me things as well.'

Dalmiera blushes slightly, pleased.

Cirth says, 'May I accompany down to the guild?'

Dalmiera smiles brightly and says, 'I would be honored Sir.'

Cirth utters the words, 'invis.' She fades out of existence.
Cirth utters the words, 'invis.' He fades out of existence.

Cirth says, 'Follow me?'

[They travel to the Guild Hall]

Room of Records [Exits: east]
This simple room has many plaques hung on its walls. With just a quick
glance you recognize names and events that have made history and inspired
many to even greater deeds so that their names would also be inscribed
here. It's possible, given valiant effort, great deeds, and a (in)famous
reputation, that your name might be added here.

A book on a lectern provides an index to all the different plaques.
(Invis) Cirth is here.

Cirth says, 'there. It has been very nice talking to you.'

Dalmiera says, 'And with you Sir..I feel much better. Thank you for your kindness.' She gently kisses his cheek.

Cirth says, 'Have I understood it correctly that you wish to join the chosen?'

He blushes deeply.

Dalmiera says, 'I do.. with all that I am, I wish to be a part of The Chosen.'

Cirth nods. He says, 'have you yet found a sponsor?'

Dalmiera says, 'I am not certain, Sir… It has been mentioned, but so far as I know, nothing is concrete yet.'

Cirth says, 'If you wish I'd be glad to be your sponsor. Unless you'd find another of course.'

Dalmiera blushes deeply, very honored.

Dalmiera says, 'I know very little of the sponsorship rules this far, May I speak to Milady about it first, Sir?'

Cirth says, 'Certainly.'

Dalmiera smiles gratefully.

Cirth says, 'I should warn you that I am not present as much as I'd like.'

Dalmiera says, 'I understand sir..at times it will be so for me as well.'

Cirth says, 'So if the sponsor should be an active guide...'
Cirth nods in recognition to her.
Cirth says, 'I really must leave now. Take care Dalmiera.'

Dalmiera says, 'As must I.. Thank you again Sir..'

Cirth says, 'May you Pattern stay clear. And darkness protect you.'
Cirth bows before Dalmiera.

Dalmiera says, 'May your life be warm Sir.'

(End Scene)